Thursday, February 24, 2005

The weekend I almost blew up

Last weekend I planned on painting the floor in the attic so it would have a smooth clean surface to attach those self stick tiles. The area has no heat other than our propane heater that stands about 3 feet tall and is monsterously loud when on high, with the flames flying up the center of the cylinder shaped heater. I was alittle leary about doing this project and asked Scooby if it would be safe to paint near the open flames of the heater. He told me that it would be no problem as long as I use water base paint and NOT oil base.

With all of our past projects, we have about a dozen cans of paint sitting around the house. Other than water base I wasn't sure which paint would work best so I asked Scooby which I should use. He found a can of paint for me and then got busy with his own project of hanging more drywall. I was still a little leary so I decided to read the paint can to make sure and give me some sense of security. First thing I read was DANGER flamible liquid and vapor.

Me: Hey this stuff says Danger flamible liquid and vapor.
Scooby: I've never heard of water base paint being flamible.
Me: It also says it takes mineral spirits for clean up.
Scooby: Oh then I guess its oil base paint.

Yikes!

Geez thank god I read the can or else I'd probably be a french fry. Anyway to make a short story long found some paint that said it took warm sudsy water for clean up. Painted the floor and didn't explode.

This was all kinda disconcerting considering that I've had at least 8 ancesters (that I've disovered so far) that have died in house fires.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Don't believe everything you read!

Ok I was kinda irked by the article at gay.com about "Weighing in on Prevention" by John Cameron Mitchell. First I do agree with him about how bad crystal is with gay youth and that more guys are becoming infected because of it.

What I don't agree with is his quote: If you become positive you'll have to get a job with health insurance for the rest of your life. If you're poor, you could die. First of all this is all fine and good if your trying to scare HIV- guys into practicing safe sex. It is not good to tell this to guys that have just found out that they are poz. I have had a couple of friends that when they found out they were poz they immediately gave up and committed suicide. Yes a job and insurance is a plus if you have HIV but it is not mandatory in order to get help.

I'm not sure how it is in other states but in Michigan The Ryan White Foundation pays all HIV related medical bills if you don't have insurance and can't afford to pay. We also have DAP = the Drug Assistance Program which pays for medications for people with HIV. DAP covers not only HIV meds but quite abit of other medications also.

I myself do have a full time job with insurance but am still considered low income and Ryan White and DAP pays for everything that my insurance doesn't (deductibles, copays, ect.) Scooby doesn't have insurance and his medical bills and medications are paid for by Ryan White and DAP. Granted you have alot of paper work to fill out and a few hoops to jump through but it's worth it in the long run. Every year at this time I have to go to FIA = Family Independent Agency to apply for medical assistance (Medicaid). I get turned down for Medicaid because of the fulltime job and insurance but once I get turned down then I can receive help from RW and DAP.

I just want to get this out there so newly infected guys will know that there is hope even if they don't have a good job and/or insurance. There are organizations out there that will help you find the assistence that you need. We have a case worker from a local HIV/AIDS organization that helps us and points us in the right direction to get the help we need.

I just pray everyday that Bush and his Republican cronies don't take away that money in order to pay for their stupid war, or else yes, we could die.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Sunnier mood's with freezing rain

Had a great weekend. Flirted a bit with one or two college guys online Saturday. Exchanged #'s now I just need to get up the nerve to call em. Then Saturday afternoon and Sunday night Scooby gave my ass a total workout. Fuck between his cock and two of our toys he reemed my ass to the point that I'm sitting funny today. And that's a good thing! It's just what I needed and gave me the attitude adjustment that was well overdue.

We were planning to head over to the "Berg" last night for karaoke. Got all ready to go, walked out the door and noticed that we were getting freezing rain. So we said fuck it and went back inside. Then a few hours later we decided to fuck, it's gotta be the first time I've been happy for freezing rain. LOL....Also spent this weekend watching new porn. Damon Blows America vol. 6 New York/Palm Springs is a complete oral cumshot extravaganza! Skate punk Christian is such a cutie and takes loads like a pro.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Lost

I haven't had much to say recently because I've been depressed. This is normal for me this time of year. It's a combination of the crappy cold weather and the culture shock of leaving New Orleans and coming back to no where. Scooby and I have been talking about moving down there for a few years now, but when it comes right down to it... moving scares the shit outa me. First of all I'm 38, second I have no education or skills. I clean offices and homes here which I guess I could do down there, but seriously I'm fuckin sick of cleaning. I could probably learn to bartend.

What also scares me is loosing the security that I have here, even though its not sure whether our cleaning contract will be renewed or not in fall of 06, I still have the security for the time being. Losing my health insurance would also scare the hell outta me. Granted anything HIV/Aids related would probably be taken care of by Ryan White funds, but anything not related and I'm fucked. Then there's family... My father is in his mid 80's, can I just take off and leave my sisters to take care of him, only to come back to visit once a year. After my mom died my brother retired and moved down south and now we rarely see him. I feel like I'd be running away from family responsibility. On the other hand I feel I need to live my own life.

I hate being gay in a small town... there's no gay community and alot of people aren't very friendly. I think that might be because alot of them feel trapped also and are probably depressed. I've got another 26 more years until I can retire and I don't know if I can do it. I already feel like I've pissed away most of my life so far. We always have fun in the New Orleans gay community but would it be like that if we lived there?

Anyway this is what's been going through my head recently. Basically I have no direction and I feel lost, but whatever happens I will survive.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Not much going on

Well it looks like my rant was heard. This weekend we had temps in the 40's and rain that melted alot of the snow. Yea! Life is kinda stale right now. Nothing much happening to report. Other than my FB Mac is moving back to Sacramento next month. Really bummed about that but I don't blame him for leaving, there's no fuckin jobs around here. I should know, Scooby's only worked 4 hrs since New Years. But then its been to cold for his van to start, so it's not like he could of went if they scheduled him anyway. Hope they work Scooby soon, would really like to hookup with Mac before he leaves. That's about all that's going on here.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Winterant

Thank fuckin God, we finally have had a week with out a snow storm and they're not predicting anymore until Sunday. YES! If you hadn't noticed I'm so fuckin sick of winter and all the fuckin snow. For the last several days we've even had temps in the high 20's which is a heatwave compared to the fridged 0 temps that we've had lately. January and February are always the worst fuckin months. Thank god February is a short month.

One thing I don't understand is Groundhog's day. If he sees his shadow we have another 6 weeks of winter...WTF....hello.. its the beginning of February another 6 weeks of winter is a given for fucks sake. I guess I wouldn't hate winter so much if we lived in an apartment. This way snow removal would be someone else's headache.

Anyway here's my top 10 reasons why I hate winter.

10. Having to wear big clumsy boots outside so my feet don't get soaked.
9. Having to carry a pair of "inside" shoes with me to work.
8. All the layers of clothes I have to put on to keep from freezing.
7. Having to close off 80% of the house, cuz I can't afford to heat the entire place.
6. The high gas bills to heat only 20% of my house.
5. All the salt that gets put out to melt the snow/ice that I have to clean up at work.
4. Having to leave the water running at night to keep the water lines from freezing.
3. Having to crawl under the house with a hairdryer when the water lines do freeze up.
2. Snowplows burying my driveway right after I've cleared it.
1. The backaches from shoveling the heavy snow that the snowplows throw in my driveway that my puny snowblower refuses go through.

end of rant...Happy fuckin Groundhog's day