The Paul Lynde Halloween Special with KISS

Eartha Kitt Witch Mix

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Nothing much going on. Trying to get the yard winterized, you know empty the water features, dump the potted flowers and pack away the pots, collect leaves ect.. Boring stuff. I tried to take a pic of my scooter today but my camera is fucked up.

Halloween is around the corner and I've been thinking about going as Amy Winehouse. I got the wig, but haven't planned much else, so it might be skag drag Amy. The thing is she wears such skimpy outfits and I'd have just too much hair to shave off, arms, legs, chest. It ain't gonna happen, the beard alone is going under alot of debate. I haven't seen my bare face in years.....

In other news...... My Dr. put me on antidepressants. Started out on Zoloft, that lasted less then a week. Sorry but if I can't keep an erection through sex how is that suppose to help depression. Now I'm on Welbutrin? I think. Have been on that for a couple of weeks and the only difference I see is the constant headache. Seriously I dont' think I'm that depressed to bother, so I think I'm just gonna quit the pill shit and do what my ancesters did, suck it up.

Anyway that is it for the shit.....

Goodbye Johnny

Scooby called me Thursday night to let me know that a close friend of ours John Haggerty died. If you read this at all he was the one I referred to as "JJ", the guy that broke his toes at our house back in July. Apparently he had some hereditary heart ailment.

Johnny lived and partied like there was no tomorrow. And when he partied, it was best for all concerned if we kept an eye on him. Once he danced on our friend Joe's old moe hair couch, note this was before he lost the weight when he was around 300 lbs., that poor couch has never been the same...

Another night, at Joe's again, we had all retired, but Johnny was still going at it and ended up in Joe's hot tub and passed out with a pack of cigarettes. The next morning he woke shriveled in a luke warm tobacco soup.

I think it was our 4th of July party last year that I found him passed out sitting upright on the couch with potato salad all down the front of him. He appartently passed out while in the process of eating. I cleaned him up and found the remainder of his plate on the floor.

One time him and Joe went to Flint for his lesbian sisters birthday party and almost got kicked out when he of course drank to much and got hungry and started to scoop food out with his bare hands from the buffet, totally grossing out the lesbians. That night someone told Joe that they would buy him drinks the rest of the night if he kept Johnny in check.

And last but not lest he loved to dress like Dawn Davenport (Divine in Female Trouble) for Halloween.

We'll miss you Johnny, life definitely won't be the same without you.

The Fog

This week I rode my scooter to work Tuesday and Thursday. Round trip its about 50 miles so I spared my car a 100 miles this week. Plus I used under 2 gal. of gas on the 2 trips. Man I wish it was the beginning of summer instead of the end.

Last night though Scooby called me around 11:15pm at work and told me it was getting pretty foggy at home. So I took off a 1/2 hour early from work and headed home. The fog really increased as I left the lighted streets of town and headed onto the main country road for home. I kind of got a little panicky when the visibility turned to shit, plus it didn't help that I had to keep wiping my face shield to see. The stress level was about the same as trying to drive home at night in the middle of a blizzard, other than having two wheels instead of 4. I did make it home in one piece though. I'll definitely be riding the shit out of it next year. Scooters ROCK!

I know I promised pics of it and will do this weekend and hopefully have then posted by Monday.

Have a great weekend!!

Project Runway

Ok, I admit it, I watch Project Runway. I'm convinced that the only reason they didn't get rid of Kenley tonight is because she's soooo fucking obnoxious and of course thats good TV. AARRGH!! That girl needs to be slapped.......repeatedly.

Dam almost a month has gone by since my last post...... Unfort. nothing much to report. The neighbors we were having problems with have now moved away and we have an abandon house behind us now. Other than that I turned 42 last week and that came and went pretty quietly. We did go out for a 2-3 pitchers of beer, but that was about it. Our Sugar daddy came up and gave us both police batons, unfort. Scooby was playing around with it while he was drunk and ended up breaking a front tooth. So I spent 200 bucks getting that fixed, or else he'd still be depressed face down on the couch.

Just another day for the working class poor...

Not much new to report. No more neighbor problems, they're still there but haven't had any issues in a few weeks. I haven't felt all that great the last couple of weeks, just tired, nauseous, and achey feeling.

One weird thing happened though. Several weeks ago one of the ladies at work was getting ready to go on vacation and every time I entered her cubicle I felt doom, like car accident doom. I was told Friday that her and her family was in a car accident two weeks ago. She is messed up to the point she won't be coming back until the beginning of next year. I feel bad for not saying anything before hand but I was afraid they would think I'm crazy.

This doesn't happen much. I remember the first time when I was a kid living out in Tucson, I kept having dreams of a big fire. Then a very popular bar in town "The Stray Cat" which was located in a historic building burned down.....

Neighbor update 2

The teenage boys behind us have graduated from throwing eggs to slamming golf balls into our back fence. I found two in our back yard so far, I'm sure its only time before they start breaking windows.

Neighbor update

What I forgot to mention in my last post was we found out that once the neighbor lady behind us divorced she could no longer make her mortgage payment and fell behind. Her church caught her up on payments and also gave her like 8,000 to replace the roof that was in bad shape. She took the money for the roof and her and her grandkids went on vacation down south. While down there she rekindled an old romance and planned on moving.

This was confirmed when our next door neighbor went back to complain about the liquor bottles being thrown into his back yard she told him that he didn't have to worry because they were moving in a few weeks...... that was in June and they are still here.

Her cool oldest gay grandson came back from down south and told us that he came back to help his grandma move but who only knew when that was gonna happen cuz she keeps putting things off. Well he stopped in last night and told Scooby that they were going back so she could enroll the kids in school down there and then come back and get the rest of their shit. So hopefully they will be gone within a month.

Everyone is encouraging me to find out who is the lender on the house and try to buy it. I don't think I can afford it but it is a nice dream. We could rent the house out to friends and take the extra lot and maybe build a garage and have an actual garden or something. We will see.....

OMG!!!

I just recieved my first compliment on my work from a dept. that I've cleaned for for the last 5-7 yrs.. I was so shocked that I didn't know whether to fall down, cry or shit my pants. Thank god the people who replace me when I'm on vacation suck. lol

In other news:

Our neighborhood is getting bad. A few years ago when the white people behind me moved in with their dozen black grandkids our next door neighbors threw a fit. I take pride for my non-racist attitude and told them don't worry about it that the oldest grandkid was gay and totally cool.
Well he moved out of state and grandma got a divorce. Earlier this summer the kids threw eggs over the back fence splattering our deck. I thought once was no big deal so I did nothing about it. Then the neighbors next door found empty liquor bottles in their back yard also. Note: the people behind us have a double lot so both of our houses ajoin their property. Come to find out the people down the street won't let their kids play with the kids behind us because they're the ones that did indeed steal the liquor. Now a few weeks ago our cars got egged and you could tell by the direction that they hit that it came from the kids behind us. We called the police this time and they just told us to take pictures, that they couldn't make it out, so we did.

This weekend three young teens (white, black and hispanic) entered the bar down the street asked for free soda. The female bartender told them no and that it was after 9pm that they had to leave. So they went out and broke the windows out of her van. When she went to leave they robbed her at knife point and threatened to beat her with a skate board.

I'm like WTF!!!! This latest story was told to me by the guy next door cuz he frequents the bar. Needless to say we no longer leave our windows open on the main floor when we go out, day or night. We've also started securing our property, fencing off the back yard so you can't get in without us letting you in. I'm also planning on putting up security lights around the back and side yards, the front it already very well lit. I also bought a sign that says:

No trespassing

violators

will be shot

survivors

will be shot again

I'm hoping this will help deter any problems.

Camping recap

Our camping trip was fun. We met up with old friends and made some interesting new ones. Scooby and I collected alot more beads for showing our you know what to several guys.

My best part was meeting Tommy. He's this sexy married/bi/transexual guy fresh out of the army. He came up to us when his group first got there and warned us that he'd probably be dressed like a woman during the weekend, we told him no problem, we didn't care. Late Saturday evening I drunkenly stubbled back to our campsite and saw a glow stick laying on the ground. I said, "Hey a glow stick!" and bent over to pick it up when everyone screamed at me,

"DON'T TOUCH IT! ITS BEEN UP TOMMY'S ASS!!

Unfortunatly I had already picked it up and immediatly gave it a toss back to Tommy's groups campsite. Then proceeded through out the nite to stick my hand under everyones nose and ask if it smelt like Tommy's ass. Apparently one of his friends stuck it up there. Scooby also spanked the hell out of Tommy with one of his leather slapper things that has a star cut out of it.

Sunday when we were all getting up and starting to pack Tommy came out of his tent, wig a tangled mess, stumbled over to a picnic table and sat down and immediatly said "Ouch". We all laughed and debated whether it was the glow stick or the paddling that he got the night before.

Another camping trip

Thursday we leave for Saugatuck to go camping at Campit. This weekend is their Mardi Gras weekend. Last year was a total blast with a weekend full of festivities. There is the Mr. and Miss Campit competition, best costume contest, Mardi Gras parade, and last but not least the Boubon St. party in the new trailer park area. Not to mention there should also be some action going on in the woods as well...... I hope.

In between all that I'll be hanging out in the pool.

Its all fun and games till someone snaps a toe off

Last Saturday started out productive with me working some overtime, but once I got home it turned into another weekend night of drunken daubachery. Several of our friends came over all with alcohol, beer, a half pint, couple of pints and a 5th of whisky. Our one friend JJ has been known to tie one on in the past and this night was no exception. We quickly went through the half pint, pints and a good portion of the fifth with JJ pouring shots as soon as the glasses were empty. Then he fell out into the yard. We checked to see if he was ok then let him lay there until he was ready to get up. Soon he stumbled onto the deck again and we propped him up on the bench inbetween two people so he wouldn't fall over. Then he tried to climb across the table, which we stopped.

We then noticed blood on the deck and tracked it back to JJ's foot. His one shoe was gone and what was left was a mangle of toes. I couldn't look, but someone kept saying, "The bones sticking out", "The bones sticking out". I definitely couldn't look. By that time JJ was totally incoherent aka shitfaced drunk. I said he needed to go to the hospital, but since everyone was too drunk to drive and JJ couldn't afford an ambulance ride, the soberest one wrapped up his foot and we layed him on the couch to sleep it off and it was decided that we would take him to the hospital in the morning.

The next morning I woke up to the front door being closed, so I hurriedly got dressed and went outside to see JJ sitting on the front porch steps barefooted. He turned to me and said, "What happened?" I then told him that he fell down. He then said he got up and unwrapped his foot only to find the horror of what layed underneath. "Did you see my foot?" I peeked over his shoulder to view for the first time and yes the toe next to the big toe was pushed to the side and yes the bone where the toe should be was sticking out. "I then almost cried and said,"Oh JJ, you need to go to the hospital." He then told me he had already called someone to pick him up, because his scooter had a dead battery. He then replied, "I think I need to stop drinking whisky, but believe it or not it doesn't hurt as bad as it looks".

It ended up he had 3 broken toes. All needed to be reset and it took three tries to set the bad one. He stopped by today to pick up his scooter and he apoligized for creating such drama. I told him I was just glad they were able to put him back together. We then discussed and joked about the necessity of wearing shoes when you party.

Attack of the 3ft. pencil

About a week and a half ago I was at work dusting offices. I was dusting the lady's office that is in charge of our health insurance and on top of a file cabinet she has a decorative 3 ft. pencil. I picked the dam thing up to dust under it and the klutz that I am fumbled it and the lead/graphite end stabbed me in the middle finger right on the edge where nail meets skin. At the time I didn't think much of it.

Then it never healed and became kinda swollen, its been very painful ever since and last week it started to ooz puss. Nice, I now. It then started to worry me so last week while I was at work I decided to go to Urgent Care, only to find out they were already closed. After some online research, I found that if not taken care of I might loose my finger so I went back to Urgent Care tonight. I was reluctant at first cuz I didn't want them to have to cut it open or anything since it was already very painful. It ended up they didn't have to do anything but perscribe me some antibiotics which ended up being free at the local Meijer's. YAY Oh and the Dr. and Nurse got a real big kick that it was a 3 ft. pencil.

Other than that I've been practicing my skills on my scooter and decided to try and do the test again in the next week or so once I master the course. I plan on spending Sunday at the course doing it over and over till I get it right. It helps that one of my friends used to be a motorcycle daredevil and he's helping me out.

Have a good weekend everyone!!

Congratulations you fail

Well I failed my motorcycle skills test this morning. Little did I know that I had to practically be a stunt rider to pass. I managed the short hair pin corner exercise and the stop with your front tire in a box exercise. But the weaving through the cones was impossible. First I thought that the cones were to close together. I had to take it crazy slow in order to manuver around them but I guess too slow since I put my foot on the ground twice, which is a big no no, and that was the one thing I actually practiced repeatedly before. Then I failed the stop on a dime exercise also, where you have to go between 12-20 mph and stop quickly. I stopped a little too quickly and almost wiped out. That was the end, I didn't get to do the swerve around the invisible car exercise.

I can do the test one more time, but why bother, since I don't think I can manage to zig zag around the fuckin cones. I'm just going to take the 2 day motorcycle learning program and be done with it. If I do that then I will get my license. Plus I want to learn to drive a motorcycle anyway so its a win win situation. The only thing is the class is booked like forever. But we were told if we just show up and they have "no shows" then we can take it with out reservations. Oh yeah Scooby is gonna take it also, hence the "we".

Frantically working

Well I found out that I can't get a fixed rate mortgage unless my house is finished and "not under contruction". So Scooby and I have been frantically trying to finish the house so I can refinance before my fixed rate ends at the end of the year. I worked all this morning before work installing siding. We need to get that done and the ceiling in the living room, plus alot of trim work through out. Needless to say I'm tired as shit, and the kicker is I'm going to have to start working OT for the next couple of Saturdays to get the carpets cleaned at work. OIY......

Rain and skeeters

The title best describes out camping trip. Thursday and Friday it rained on and off and Saturday morning it poured for hours. The mosquito's were horrible, but it probably didn't help that we had last years mosquito spray. Friday morning we ran to a store and bought some new bug spray, which seemed to help. The G.R. River men weren't all that friendly this year, plus they brought their own portable private play area, so we've decided not to go when they are there anymore. We did meet a few new people, so the weekend wasn't a total loss.

Other shit...

I'll be doing my motorcycle skills test next week. Also I crunched some numbers today on our spending within the last year and it looks like by next year we will be broke. I plan on refinancing my mortgage soon so hopefully I can get a lower payment. Our finances kind of worry me but if things do indeed get bad I can always sell my stocks, which I was going to save for retirement and then the timeshare. That will be a sad day when that goes, cuz no more trips to New Orleans once its gone. Anyway back to the grind...

Quick note

Our party went well. Didn't have as many as normal, only about 60-65 people. It was a very nice crowd and I think most had a great time. One of our best friends is a wine consultant, so we had him do a wine tasting.

Unfort. one of the guests got drunk early and totally tried to manipulate and heckle with snarky comments through out the tasting. We were busy hosting the rest of the party in the back yard and didn't find out about it till later. He then took the name tags that we supplied and started making up names for the rest of the guests, some were funny, others were just plain mean spirited and hurtful. He moved to the side walk and started to harrass passersby. I did manage to get Scooby to pull him back in. He then passed out before the fireworks even started. If you happen to read this Steven, I'm sorry to say that your not welcome back to our partys.

Everything else went pretty smoothly except for some other guy yelling over our fence at someone passing by, "Hey! You want your ass fucked", during the fireworks in front of families with children. I mean hello people, this is a neighborhood in which we live. Would you like me to go to your house and do the same thing? I did consider it. LOL My only regret is that I didn't feel I had enough time to chat with some of our friends we only see once of twice year. Love you guys!!

Anyway, the house is almost clean and picked up and we are frantically trying to get everything together to go camping on Thursday. Did I mention its leather/bears in the woods weekend. Should be fun!!

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July!!!
Later....

Crazy life

Things are starting to get crazy here with out fireworks party going on this Saturday. We usually have between 75-100 people so needless to say I'm a bit stressed. Then the weekend after we are planning on going camping. I know I promised a pic of me and my scooter but its gonna have to wait, I'm way too busy. Won't be posting too much for the next couple of weeks. Hope everyone else is out living life also, peace...