Friday, September 24, 2004

The Adventures of Pukey Peggy

Scooby and I love everything about New Orleans. From it historic architecture, great food, live jazz music to the friendly and colorful locals... we just love being down there. Not to mention that however shitfaced drunk you get, there is always someone drunker than yourself. We started spending our Christmas/New Years holidays down there almost 4 years ago. It was our second Christmas down there when we met Pukey Peggy.

We had just arrived that day and after getting settled in to our little whole in the wall HO-tel we ventured out to our favorite bar VooDoo at Congo Square on Rampart. It was early evening and we were sitting about halfway down the bar having a few drinks when this woman came in and flopped her big purse down on the end of the bar and ordered a drink. Her name was Peggy and she looked like a very seasoned drinker with dark rings around her eyes and her hair was dark brown and cut short about 4 or 5 inches long at the top and tapered down to her neck. Peggy wore a large baggy turtle neck type top that hung in huge wrinkled cuff type rings almost down to her saggy boobs. Before we knew it Peggy was sitting Indian style on top of the bar and when one of her many favorite songs came on she would raise her arms and shake her fists to the music. When she wasn't shaking her fists to the music she would be pulling her hair so it all stood straight out from her head. It was Scooby that saw what happened next, while Peggy was shaking her fists and waving her arms to the music she ever so slightly vomited into the huge cuffs of her sweater. Not thinking that anyone saw her she lightly wiped her mouth oblivious to the deposit that she left behind in the vast material around her neck and went back to waving her arms and shaking her fists. This was the first impression...

The next night but much later we were at our perch again at the VooDoo and in come one of the bartenders and another guy holding Peggy up inbetween them. This night she was totally shitfaced drunk to the point her eyes were rolling into the back of her head, her mouth was hanging open and she couldn't even walk, hence the two guys practically carrying her. They took her right to the back of the bar and I guess deposited her in the girls bathroom.

Then a few days later we were walking down Ursulines and walked past this one residence that had their shutters opened up and were having a Christmas party and there was Pukey Peggy, (much more sober and conservative looking) sitting on the couch having a cocktail and enjoying the festivities.

A day or two later we were sitting once again at the VooDoo and the bartender that had helped carry Peggy in a few days earlier was working when drunk Pukey Peggy came trudging into the bar and went over to the mens bathroom door and almost violently pushed the door open and started to go in but the queens inside screamed with terror. After the queens screamed the bartender looked over and screamed, "Peggy! Don't you go into the mens bathroom and piss on the floor." Then Peggy in her rough scratchy voice screamed back, "I don't piss on the floor". The bartender then said, "YES YOU DO! and its disgusting, go to the back and use the bathroom with the toilet." Note: the bathroom she was busting into only had a large trough like urinal.

Then towards the end of our trip we bumped into Pukey Peggy once again at the VooDoo, this time she sat next to us and and was the soberest we had seen her all week. She introduced herself and Scooby made the comment that we had met her early that week when she was twisted, in which Pukey Peggy stated, "I don't get twisted", and Scooby came back with, "Well that must of been your twin sister "Pretzel". About that time our favorite bartender Jim came up to the three of us with a mind eraser and four straws, we all grabbed a straw and sucked it down and we were all well on our way to not being twisted.

Last year when we went down we asked where Pukey Peggy was and was told that she was now in Florida.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Found out

Well I knew this would happen eventually. A friend of mine found my blog and I can't remember the exact wording of the IM but I remember him saying "ouch" at my explicit sex talk and that we've been friends for 19 years and that he feels that he's just getting to know me. I kinda remarked backed a "Yikes" and made the comment that I wasn't always a big ole slut, just since I became poz that it started hitting high gear. In fact I used to be somewhat conservative sexually... at least by day, but occasionally I'd go walking after midnight and sow my wild oats, but even then I was pretty vanilla. These days I've learned to "Never say never" cuz I'm starting to do things that I never thought I'd do back in my 20's and I'm slowly mutating into a pig.

As for what I'm writing I don't think I'll start censoring anything anytime soon. I mean who the fuck cares I surely don't. I was never a person with high aspirations, I remember my mom asking me one time when I was a teenager, "What do you want to do when you grow up" and without hesitation I replied, "I what to be a porn star". I thought it would shock her but she just laughed her head off instead and I think she might of said, "Good for you" even. Of course the porn star thing never happened and I'm turning 38 this week and I think I might be a little past my prime, will it happen, probably not... but like I said never say never.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

It's stuck in my head

Time and time again we fall into the depths of who we are
But you can't keep running away from what you're trying to find

Chronic Future... "Time and Time again"

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Trannies and A message from God

Man, I don't know what it is, but going back to work after a long weekend is, well, depressing. I'm like a kid going back to school, I just don't want to do it, but once I get back into the swing of things I kind of even out. We had a boring uneventful weekend. We managed to repair the sagging front porch and get it level and even managed to get about 3/4 of the shingles put on. Yea!

Went out to "The Berg" for drinks Sunday night and Scooby sang his heart out again. There were quite a few people out at the bar that night, lots of new and different faces. Saw this woman there with our local trannie Jolene. This woman was very homely, dressed in what I'd call a second hand lowcut gown/dress and had the biggest boobs I've seen on such a scrawny woman. I went out on the patio and found my friend Joe chatting with her so I joined them and found out her name was Dixie. What was so shocking was when Dixie talked a big ole boot fell out. She had one of the deepest voices I've ever heard come from a supposed female. After Dixie went back inside, I asked Joe, "Did Dixie used to be a guy?" and he replied,"I was wondering the same thing." I'm guessing that she was a he at one time, but who knows. I hope Dixie had a good time at the Berg and hope to see her again, and her big ass boobs.

I don't think I've mentioned this but we live across the street from a Lutheran Church. They have a sign out front which about once a month they post different inspirational and sometimes quirky messages. This last one hit a little to close to home, it read..."Staying in bed shouting "OH GOD" doesn't constitute going to church". My first thought was, "Oh Shit, did they hear me and Scooby getting it on last week when we had the windows open. I don't know if it's coincidence or what, but its got me thinking that we better close the windows when we plan on playing the hokey pokey from now on. Yikes!

I haven't mentioned coming out at work cuz it didn't happen. I looked in the newspaper and found my father's birthday announcement and I guess for lack of space they only printed the children and not their spouses. It was really no big deal since I only see my crewleader maybe once a month and my coworkers a couple of times a year. Work has a employee directory that they update yearly and several years ago I filled it out naming Scooby as my spouse but I noticed that they never did add him to my info.. When I first started working here I did go out once with the guys from work. We all met over to our crewleaders house for a few beers and considering that they all had a gay joke to tell, I'm sure they figured that I was gay and told the jokes to see if it would get a rise out of me. It of course didn't, but then I never went over for drinks again either. Considering that it was about a 45 min. trip to get back home, I had a good excuse not to go back.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Luck... The Taboo Nazi..Pizza.. and the Sugar daddy

Scooby has managed to come through once again. Despite the shit he's been going through at Home Depot (they didn't schedule him at all this week). First the Taboo Nazi hired him to do work at her place installing a fence around her back yard, rebuilding her front porch and the list goes on and on and on...

Then last week as Scooby was getting out of his car a local pizza shop owner stopped by and asked him if Jake lived next door. Scooby said yes and they started up a conversation, then the guy asked if he could put a sign on our fence in the front yard for his pizza place in exchange for a free large 2 item pizza every week for as long as we keep the sign up. YES! Free fuckin food, hell yeah he can put a sign up. Then Scooby designed a better logo for the guy and he got 5 more pizza's. For those pizza's he can chose anything on the menu. YES! Now Scooby is planning to put together a website for the guy also in exchange for....more Pizza. We had our first 2 topping large (for the sign in the yard) and it was fantastic. They make their own sauce everyday from Italian pear tomatoes. God I love the bartering system.

To try and get back in the good graces of our sugar daddy I sent him a birthday card and sure enough it worked. He called this week and said to be on the look out for an early birthday present/package just for me. It arrived today and I got a gothic skull necklace and bracelet to match. TO COOL! I'm not much into wearing jewelry per se, but this stuff is so cool I'll definitely be wearing it. If things go well it looks like I'll be suckin cock for flowers in my yard again next spring. Yippee!

Not much new to report. They finally got the air restored at work, Thank fuckin God! Now my blower quit working on my car so no air there, so it's going in this Friday for repairs.

No new sexcapades, waaaa... Just Scooby and I doing the usual hokey pokey. Although Scooby did get hit on by Big John (the guy who we heard has a thick 12 cock) last weekend at the "Berg", and is interested in banging us both. God I hope it happens cuz I need something interesting to blog about.

As for the holiday weekend, if the weather is good we will be repairing the front porch roof and hopefully shingling it. Then all the roofs will be done, FUCK YES! We will probably go into Saginaw to the "Berg" Sunday night for drinks and karaoke. We went down last Sunday and Scooby sung his heart out and we had a blast...

Have a nice Labour Day! Ciao