Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The joy of home ownership

Well we had a very productive weekend. Worked on installing more trim work on the house getting ready for the siding. Helped Scooby run electical under the house in the crawl space (lots of spiders and webs...yuck). I was also in the attic running electrical to the eves for future Christmas lighting. Then in the meantime I transplanted grass from our driveway to bare patches around the yard. Wanted to get that done before they pave the driveway this week.

The weather ended up not being so bad. It did rain for awhile on Saturday and Sunday and during that time we installed a few of the wooden panels to the back porch ceiling. Honestly its times like this I hate being a home owner.

Monday we got an email from a friend saying that they had a wonderful time in Saugatuck at the gay campground this weekend. I know I've probably bitched about this before, but I miss the way the campground used to be before the guy that ran it died. It wasn't fancy, but it was affordable. Now the new owners have put in a little dinky inground pool, pool house ect. and raised the prices to compensate and added a yearly membership fee to boot. Shit, we're a one income family and could barely afford to go before, now its close to impossible. I did complain about it on their questionnaire so now they let people work there for a discount on camping. I'm sorry but I scrub fucking shitty toilets for a living and the last thing I want to do is scrub them when I'm on vacation...FUCK THAT! Now they're going to put in a bar right in the campground also, which sounds great but I'm sure the camping prices will go up again.

It just bums me out that us low income queers are being squeezed out to make room for all the rich fags. But then, I guess we probably could afford to go if the house wasn't nickle and dimeing me to death. Priorities can suck sometimes...

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Rain, rain go away

Not much new to post. We've been trying to work on putting siding on the house but the weather hasn't been cooperating. We did a little bit last Saturday but it ended up being to hot to stand on the roof on the front porch. We decided then that we would wait till Sunday morning and work on it when it was cooler. Got up Sunday and it was raining and continued to rain throughout the day. So then we decided to try Monday before I went to work...again rain. Tuesday was good but I'm outta the house by 10:30 am and don't get back home from work until 12:30am and the siding we're doing is a two person job so nothing on Tuesday either. Today was beautiful but Scooby had to work this morning.

I took Friday off on vacation and got Monday off on Holiday and figured that we could get alot done in those four days. The weatherman are predicting rain all weekend. FUCK! If it does rain maybe we'll work on installing the wood paneled ceiling on the back porch. Scooby got all the tile installed on the new bathroom floor this last week and it looks beautiful.

One more month and I'll have been blogging for a year. Wow time sure flys. Been thinking of totally changing this blog and maybe even the name... the current one is a bit too long I think. Have already decided to start using my real name instead of Mouse. Mouse was just something I thought up on the spur of the moment in order to hide my real identity. But now I'm thinking fuck it, who cares. Anyway I'm Mike by the way.

That's about it...hope everyone has a great Memorial day weekend.

Monday, May 23, 2005

His scent

Friday night
smooching and groping men
He smelled really good
considering I normally don't like cologne
he was an exception

sorting through the beer fog
did I lick his sexy shaved head
think I did...yes, yes I did
He wanted to leave with us
But I knew he was too drunk to follow through

His scent lingered on me the next morning
giving me wood
slipped it in the boyfriend
road him hard
unloaded hard

His scent reloaded me
giving me wood again
slipped back in the boyfriend
Making the man very happy

road him hard again
until he unloaded hard

Friday, May 20, 2005

And your little dog too!

Scooby got a call from his mother back home in Oklahoma the other day.

This is a horrible story she told him.

His sister in law who lives in Oklahoma also, was getting ready to go to work and let one of her chihuahua's outside to do his business. Just as she went out to bring him in, an owl swooped down, snatched the dog and flew off.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Weather report

Ok so today I finally decided that I could take my winter coat and gloves ect. outta my car and pack them away for the season. It will probably snow tommorow...

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

The family garden and Mr. Poo's dilemma

As I think I've said in the past I have lunch with my elderly father every Tuesday and today he told a story that made me LOL.

To set it up my parents had a 40 acre farm which they bought from my mothers father. About 5 acres of it was the yard where our house was and my parents enormous garden. The rest of the land was rented out to my cousin who farmed it. My parents grew everything in their garden: tomatoes, corn (both edible and Indian), squash, pumpkins, beans, carrots, lettuce, cucumbers, cabbage, radishes, onions, potatoes, strawberries, rhubarb, ect.. They also had two apple trees, two pear trees and about 1/2 dozen peach trees. What my mom didn't can for the season she gave away to family and friends, under one condition that you go out in the garden and pick it yourself.

Well my dad told me this story that his brother inlaw wanted to get some tomatoes and cucumbers from my parents garden one year. So when they were ripe my father called my uncle and said that the tomatoes and cuke's were ready. My uncle replied, "Are they picked", and my father told him, "no". My uncle never came over and got them cuz he refused to pick them himself.

When it became apparent that my uncle wasn't going to come over and get his veggies, my mother asked my father, "Do you think he wanted us to eat them for him too?" My mother and I had the same sense of humor, the only difference is that I normally will say something sarcastic like that right to your face.



Mr. Poo's dilemma

My cat is fat
How fat you say
is my cat

25 lbs.

and that
is too fat
for a cat

At least thats what the vet says

I've been meaning to post about our cat Mr. Poo for awhile now. Earlier this year the vet put him on a diet cuz..well he's 25 pounds. We put him on diet cat food and the vet told me that he wanted me to bring him in every month to get weighed. I asked the vet if I needed an appointment to come in and he said, "No not at all bring him in anytime to get weighed".

Ok Mr. Poo hates and I mean absolutely hates to leave the house and go for a ride. The first trip we ever made to the vet, I was stupid enough to think that I could just bring him in with a collar and leash. LOL He sat on the floor in the back seat and just wailed. Being the good mommy that I am I consoled him all the way telling him that everything was gonna be ok. Then we had to wait in the waiting room for a bit and he climbed right into my coat wrapping himself around my back. By the time we got into the exam room I was covered in cat hair and I mean covered.

These days I have a carrier that works alot better. He still crys on the trip and I still console him, but he doesn't cry like he used to. He must be getting used to it a bit. Anyway today I decided would be a good morning to take him to get weighed and get some more really expensive diet cat food, cuz he was getting low. We drive all the way across town and I pull in and see that there are no cars in the patient parking and think COOL we have the waiting room to ourselves. I park and get Mr. Poo and his carrier outta the car we go to the door and it's locked. FUCK Then I see the note on the door saying that they are closed Tuesdays from 8-11am for some kinda educational meeting.

Poor Mr. Poo had to take an agonizing car ride for nothing. So now we have to go back next Monday.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Grow some armpit hair ya freak!


 Posted by Hello

Ok why is it that the women on "Deadwood" have more armpit hair then most of the guys in "Men" magazine. Isn't is bad enough that guys shave their chest, they gotta do their armpits too. YUCK! If your gonna shave anything why don't ya start with that "80's" hairdoo....

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Rant, Thurston, Rant

Scooby and I went out to lunch today with Thurston at this little deli down the street from his house. He started telling us about someone that I guess he knows, (not sure cuz he's a vague storyteller, could possibly be something he read outta the newspaper) anyway this pregnate woman was in France and unfortunately had to be rushed to the hospital and had a miscarriage. Well the hospital told her that her American Insurance wasn't good in France and she had to pay the bill in full. Well she freaked out about having to pay the hospital bill until she found out what she owed....$50..

Thurston: Do you believe that, why are we so expensive.

Me: Because of lawsuits and Drs. having to have lawsuit insurance.

Thurston: THIS COUNTRY IS ALL ABOUT MONEY I'M SURPRISED THEY DIDN'T NAME IT "THE UNITED STATES OF MONEY"... MONEY, MONEY MONEY...I HOPE EVERYONE GETS ALL THE MONEY THEY WANT AND SHOVE IT RIGHT DOWN THEIR THROATS AND CHOKE ON IT!

God he cracks me up sometimes...

Saturday, May 07, 2005

The dogshit lady

For about 10 of the 14 yrs I've lived at my house I've had an ongoing feud with a neighbor I like to call the dogshit lady. I live on one corner of our block and she lives within the same block just the opposite corner of the block from me. Actually my house isn't directly on the corner, it sits two feet from the city owned empty lot which sits on the corner. It started out with me finding dogshit along the side of my house, in the front yard ect.. At first I just thought that it was some dog that was loose, out running the neighborhood.

But then started the early morning yap, yap, yap right outside my bedroom window. Once I'm awake, I'm awake for the day, so I started getting up and peeking through the window to see what kinda dog was making all the racket. That's when I first laid eyes on the the dogshit lady, tall, thin, with bleach orangeish blonde hair, and a leathery too tan face. She was happily walking along with her unleashed shelty dog frantically darting around and yapping all the way. I immediately ran into the living room in the front of the house to spy on her more, and of course her dog jumped into my yard and shit. She of course kept on walking well aware of her dog doing his business in my front yard.

I thought to myself WTF, I don't even let my dog shit in the front yard. Being the anal person that I can occasionally be, when taking my dog for a walk I always bring a plastic grocery bag to clean up my dogs shit. I thought to myself, this fuckin bitch is being really inconsiderate to the rest of the neighborhood. Who the fuck does she think she is? I let it slide this time, cuz I figured maybe it was just a one time thing. WRONG After a few more dogshit episodes I went out on the front porch and asked her, "Would you please keep your dog outta my yard", and she replied with a really snotty, "Yeah". Well that did it, I'd had enough so I went back inside and called animal control and reported her. I knew where she lived cuz I had passed her house while walking my dog back from the park and noticed the shelty tied out in front of her house yapping at us.

I gave animal control her address and they immediately said, "Oh, the one with the shelty" and I confirmed, "yes that's the one". Considering they new exactly who I was talking about I figured that mine was not the first complaint. The thing that really irked me was that practically right out her front door is a city park. Right before the city park it a railroad track that the city always keeps mowed. She could take her dog out there to take a shit, hell its not any farther then walking around the block. I just didn't understand why she would choose to let her dog shit on all her neighbors yards instead of down by the railroad track or in the park. Irresponsible pet owners really chap my ass.

The call to animal control stopped her for a week but then she was right back at it. I thought of taking my black lab over to shit in her front yard, but I didn't know what her husband was like and didn't want to get my ass kicked. I would always collect my dogs shit outta my back yard and deposit it in plastic grocery sacks and I thought of taking a late night bike ride around the block and dump a weeks worth of dog crap on her sidewalk as I peddled by. I also thought of picking up her dog crap and mailing it to her or better yet going right out and throwing it at her or following her home and throwing the crap on her front porch saying, "You forgot something". I also thought about getting a baby diaper and filling it with chocolate pudding and leaving it in the city lot so she thought her dog was eating baby shit. That might make her keep her dog on a leash.

Instead I quit bagging my dogs crap and just started throwing it over the fence onto the city lot right where she walked. The next time I heard the yap, yap, yap I listened closely to see what would happen. As soon as the shelty came across all of my dogs shit in the city lot, it stopped yapping and got really quiet, then I heard her swear as she stepped in a pile. HE HE HE BITCH how do ya like it. This of course didn't stop her, she just walked farther outta range from my dogs shit. I then started keeping a lawn sprinkler out in the front yard and as soon as I heard her dog coming I'd turn it on full blast so she'd either have to walk through it and get soaked or turn around or cross the street.

I eventually bought half of the city lot and fenced it off, now I at least don't have her dog yapping right outside my bedroom window. Between me and the other pissed off neighbors I think she finally got fined for having alot of complaints. I haven't seen her in quite awhile, but I have seen her daughter out walking the dog on a leash and even picking up the dogs crap. So maybe you can teach and old dog new tricks.

Friday, May 06, 2005

PORN PORN PORN


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Treasure Island Media is having a SALE and I went on a PORN buying spree. YIPPEE!! In two or three days I'll be getting "Plowed", "Plantin Seed", and "Slurpin Jizz". I've been really wanting to see Jesse O'Toole mercilessly plow some hungry holes, he's in both "Plowed" and "Planting Seed". So I think I'm going to plan a porn day for wednesday.

Needless to say I'm stoked.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Nothing to say

Haven't had much to say lately cuz lets face it life in a small town is boring and a bit stagnate. Had a bit of snow flurries today and am so fuckin tire of that. If it doesn't get nice soon, we're going to end up only having about 4 months of nice weather then back to shit again. I want to get outta here so bad I can taste it. I can see Scooby and I fleeing Michigan and saying as we cross the state line, "Don't look back or you'll turn into a pillar of shit" like Ellen Bursten said in the movie "Alice doesn't live here Anymore".

Been spending all my free time either working on the house or over at our friend Thurston's house sorting vinyl records. Basically got everything sorted into decades and specifics like country, disco, christmas ect.. Hey how fun is that.

My tulips bounced back after the last all day snow-fucking-a-thon. I ended up brushing the snow off of em and then put a plastic bucket over them for protection. There about done now but they sure looked purty while they lasted.

It's times like this I wonder why I even started blogging. I've got nothing new or interesting to say. Nothing is going on in my life worth writing about. Oh wait... the outside of my fathers house got ransacked by a robin last week, shit all over most of his windows, sat on a post on his deck and just started spraying bird shit everywhere. He told me this today and I laughed my ass off.

And thats about it, thanks for visiting.... oh yeah speaking of visiting or visitors I hit 5,000 last week on my site counter. Even though most only visit for about millisecond its a visit just the same. Welcome and thanks for visiting ya'll.