Thursday, March 29, 2007

Male trouble and breaking hearts

I had to let go of two fuck buddies this week. The one, furry poz guy was getting possessive and kind of needy. We started getting together occasionally on Sunday mornings. I should have seen the red flags when he started expecting me to come over every Sunday. I introduced him to Scooby and we had several three-ways with him. I tried to create a friendship with him but everytime I invited him over he expected sex and started to get down right bitchy when he didn't get what he wanted. I tried to explain that my sex drive has been hit and miss since my fathers death, but this guy either didn't understand or didn't care. So buh bye.

The other guy I would get together with on Friday evenings. He quickly developed strong feelings for me and what did I do..... I invited him over to the house and Scooby and I had a three way with him also for the last two weekends. He emailed me yesterday confessing his feelings, telling me he hasn't been to work all this week and that he's been crying alot. I told him that it was probably best that we didn't play anymore but I hoped we could still be friends. He just told me tonight that the only way he can pick himself up is to quit the gay lifestyle....

I feel bad for the second guy and will do what I can to help him. This is why I prefer to have sex with strangers. Since all this, I'm not even sure I want to know the other persons name. No strings, blow and go is where its at for me this year.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

decisions decisions

Well I did it again...... I've been looking at real estate down in NOLA online again. I found a property that is about a block from our friend the Crisco kid in a "not too bad" neighborhood. Its in our price range, has lots of space and even maybe a yard. And its walking distance to the Quarter.

Why do I do this to myself, getting my hopes up that is. First I'm sure its not in prestine condition so banks won't touch it. Second we are not even close to having our place ready to put on the market. I used to say the only thing that kept me in Michigan was my father, now that he's gone..... I've got a good job here and down there I would probably have to work alot harder, but I hate the winters here and really don't care for MI. I absolutely love it down there. I'm sure summers would be a bitch heat wise, but I think I'd rather deal with excessive heat then excessive cold.

I'm also scared of quitting my job, but I could take a leave of absence. I don't know...... I've recently thought that I've kind of wasted the last 22 yrs of my life here in MI and do I really want to spend the next 22yrs doing the same thing. Arrgh

I know I'm rambling

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Not much new

Not much new here. Most of the week was cold with temps averaging around 30. It started warming up and raining last night which is a good thing since it will get rid of the rest of the snow. I got up this morning and it was already 50 degrees. YES!!!

Had lunch with my sister today and she told me that she got an offer on my dads house which is another good thing. Hopefully the guy will be able to get financing.

Today was the first day I spent time outside without a coat. I brought my coat to work since I'll probably need it by nightfall but its out in my car until I need it. Funny how the little things mean so much.... Winter and cold weather is just about over, thank God.

And as of yesterday I'm chlamydia free. I finished the rest of my antibiotics yesterday and to celebrate I sucked off Scooby.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Things are looking up

Well my lymph nodes are finally starting to shrink and become less painful. I think I'm also starting to get some energy back. YAY!

Earlier this week we had weather in the high 60's and most of the snow is now gone other than the snow plow piles in the parking lots. YAY!

I also quit seeing my therapist. Actually I missed my last appointment a couple of weeks ago and never called to reschedule. Most of my stress is gone, with "J" moving out things at home are now back to slow paced and boring and alot less drinking. Also since my dad is gone I don't have to worry about running into family members that feel the need to judge me and condemn me to hell for being a cock sucking butt fucking homosexual.

This year started out shitty, but things seem to be looking up. And spring is right around the corner.

Happy St. Pats day everyone! We are partying at the "Berg" tomorrow night and then the St. Pats parade is Sunday at 2pm. Gonna be a fun weekend.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

OUCH! An open letter to my fuck/ suck buddies

Dear fuck/suck buddies,
I've been having swollen lymph nodes problems since last Friday and went to the Dr. Monday about it. I hate to have to tell you this but I found out today that I have chlamydia (aka the clap). Apparently 90% of people who have it show no signs of symptoms (like me). So I don't know how long I've had it, it could have been the cause of my pink eye last year. They told me I had to contact all my partners, sooo. Luckily it can be treated and cured with antibiotics. Again I'm sorry to have to tell you this, I feel horrible. :(

Well this is my first STD folks, other than HIV that is. I just thank God that with antibiotics it will be cured in about 8-10 days. It could have been the cause of my headaches and my fatigue, so I'm curious about how I'll feel in two weeks. If you'd like more info. on this you can go to the link here.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The Dr. visit + some advice

I went to the Dr. Monday and yes we were right it is my Lymp nodes that are swollen. The Dr. said to just apply either hot or cold (I can't remember which) compress's to them and to keep an eye on them and let him know if it gets worse. He also said it was unlikely but tested me for gonorrhea. Great.... For those of you who have never had this test, they stick a large wooden Q-tip type thing in the end of your dick, which stings and burns. Fun Fun I was really surprised he didn't take a urine sample. I was thinking that my problem was possibly a bladder or kidney infection type thing, but what do I know.... Anyway still waiting for the test results.

I've recently decided that it isn't a good idea to try and be friends with fuck buddies. Either their a friend or a FB, but when you try and combine it is when it gets messy. I met this guy last fall online, he's poz also and we started having sex on Sunday mornings. Then I introduced him to Scooby and we had a three way. I also organized a four way with us and another guy a couple of times.

The day we got home from New Orleans we were dead tired from the drive. The guy called and I told him we were too tired but he insisted on coming over anyway, because he hadn't gotten off since we left. We did manage to have a three way that evening but Scooby was really tired and got kinda irritated. Our Sunday playdates kind of petered out cuz Scooby started getting up earlier and we would start working on the house. Now he wants to get together EVERY weekend.

I don't mind hanging out but I've been dealing with alot of shit this year with my fathers suicide plus I've been sick for several weeks and now with my swollen lymp node problem. Sorry but sex hasn't been a high priority on my list lately. He called this weekend and said in a pissy tone, "We're not having sex anymore so I'm just gonna stay home and get online and find someone." Which my response was, "I'm sorry I've been sick but thats cool". It felt as if he was trying to give me a guilt trip and that pissed me off. Luckily I'm getting better, but this last weekend it was painful to even walk so his guilt trip didn't work.

With fuck buddies, you call them when your horny and its your basic blow and go. I shouldn't have to explain to someone (who is not my boyfriend) why I'm not in the mood and if I have too they should understand. He asked how it went at the Dr. and I was blunt about it and told him I got tested for gonorrhea and was waiting for the results, that should cool his jets a bit....

Anyway end of rant, thanks for listening...

Friday, March 09, 2007

No money, more work and a second set of testicles

I figured by this time today that I'd have a pocket full of money, but its not the case. First my paycheck didn't show up today which included the 100% refund on 2006 health insurance. Then one of my house cleaning jobs wanted me to come in and clean their China and curio cabinets, and I didn't get paid for that either. Then I got to work and my millage reibursement didn't get processed either. FUCK!!!! Oh well guess I won't be spending much money this weekend.

Then after I got to work my boss called me to let me know that we are understaffed again and I have to clean that big fucking ass building on campus again tonight. Again FUCK!!!!
To top it all off I've been having pains in my groin lately also and today when I was taking a shower I discovered I have two golf ball size lumps on either side of my cock which totally fucking freaked me out. I had Scooby check them out and he told me my lymp nodes are swollen. So I feel alittle bit better about that. They still are making it hard to get around though. God just get me through tonight. I think I'm gonna have to tell my boss about my HIV status soon. Maybe then I won't have to do all this extra work because its fucking killing me.

Hope everyone has a good weekend. Mine starts at 11pm tonight. YAY!

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Tired as shit

Good lord has this been a busy week.....

First the chainsaw man:

Scooby has noticed for the last couple of years during the summer this hot furry, long bearded guy ride past the house on a bicycle. The kind of interesting and scary part is that he always has a chainsaw in the milk crate that is strapped to the back of his bike. Well a week or so ago I was leaving for work and who is riding past but the chainsaw man minus the chainsaw this time. I find out that he does tree trimming/ removal work and is in need of work. He's straight but gay friendly and a big fucking dick tease but nice all the same.

I hired him to cut down several small trees and trim up several large trees in my back yard. So yesterday as he cut and trimmed the trees I stacked the logs and brush. We worked from 10:30am till 3pm and I was fucking tired by the time we got done. I had just enough time before work to run to McDonalds and feed us.

Then I went to work only to find out that we were majorly understaffed so I ended up having to do three times the amount of work that night then normal. By the time I was done I was totally spent. Then this morning Scooby woke me up early wanting sex. I was still tired and irritated by being work up so early, so I hate fucked him hard, which is just what he likes. Then early this afternoon I had to go help a friend pick up a washing machine and take it to his house. Luckily I was able to take a nap before work today so I'm starting to feel normal again.

In other local news:

There is two High Schools in the town that I'm from. When the original one (the one I went to) got too crowded they built another on the the rich side of town. This high school has a swimming pool and carpeted classrooms ect. to cater to the prodominately posh student body. Yesterday a male student from a nearby small town walked in with a backpack and asked to see his ex girlfriend. She wasn't there so they asked him to leave. He went out to the parking lot and waited for her. She showed up around 11am with her mother and he shot her four times in the parking lot then shot himself. He died and the girl is in critical but stable condition.

It kind of irks me that they would have carpeted classrooms and a swimming pool but no metal detectors. Priorities???? If they would of had them they would of went off when he first entered the school which might have diffused the incident. I bet they'll probably be getting them now.