Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Day of prayer

I don't know what to say

I love New Orleans
this is so devastating
I worry for our friends down there
some who didn't have transportation to escape
I want to run down there
and start sand bagging those levee's myself.
the more I watch CNN
the sicker I get
the New Orleans National Guard
are in Baghdad....WTF!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Mmmm furrr

Colt model Pete Kuzak Posted by Picasa

Rule # 1 Nevr hury while using a power saaw

little ouchie Posted by Picasa

Yesteday I was hurrying atound cutting and attadhing vinyl soffit to the house and my stupid finger got in the way. Luckily to cut vinyl siding the blade on thr saw has to be put on bsckwards orherwise it would of pulled my finger inro the saw and done alotr more damage. Plush the back side od the saw doesn't chew things up ass much so I got a nice clean "papercut looking" slice a pretty good ways into my finger.

got it cleanre up and stipped bleeding so no trip to get stitches. Took the day off work and this morings house cleaning job. Other wise going back to work tonight, don't think its going to open bakcv up. No pain today so I don't think i'll tsake a vicodin today, they made me feel all nife and gushy yestrday. kinda like it...


Note: I would hage used spell chunk but I thouft it waas kinda dunny this way.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Small sales, big zucchini and an Oompa Loompa

God it was nice having a 4 day weekend. I desperately needed it. I was planning on having my yard sale Friday and Saturday. up early Friday morning to cloudy weather. Weather channel said it was clear, so started to haul things out into the driveway. It did drizzle a little and was extremely windy but it all went well that day. Other than we only made about $35....Ouch! The fuckin neighbor borrowed a little table from me, put out a few things and ended up making about $100....bastard.

Saturday...rain, rain and more rain. No sale that day. That afternoon we went to my Dad's for his 86th birthday. Then after present opening, dinner, cake and ice cream Scooby and I headed to Mt. Pleasant to visit a friend of ours that just inherited his grandparents farm. Cool place, should have brought the camera cuz he has a cool old windmill out in the back yard that is in great condition. Dam when will I remember to keep the camera with me at ALL TIMES.

He also gave us the hugest zucchini that I've ever seen. The fucker was about 2 ft. long and amazingly thick. Of course I didn't take a pic of that either and the next day we ended up baking a cookie sheet full of it, stir frying another portion of it and I still probably have enough to make 3 or 4 loaves of zucchini bread also. From one zucchini!

Sunday morning was beautiful and we decided to open the yard sale again. Made another $30-$35 bucks so it wasn't a total waste of time. Then we had a BBQ that afternoon with steaks on the grill and baked and stir fried zucchini. Everyone thought they were eating eggplant...surprise its zucchini.

Then Monday we took the shit that we didn't sell from the sale to St. Vincent's to donate. Only one carload this sale thank God. In the past I've taken 2-3 carloads. Then we headed to the movie theatre and caught the first show of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" The movie was awesome other than I couldn't understand most of the words to the new songs that the Oompa Loompa sang. Note: that I said Oompa Loompa as singular cuz it was just one person. I guess Tim Burton either didn't have the budget to hire more little people or he was just too cheap. Other than that it was a great movie. Alot more detail on the characters than the original, which was a plus.

Anyway that was my busy/dull little weekend in a nutshell.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Purge, Purge, Purge

After months of gathering all of our useless crap that's been sitting around cluttering our house and lives for years, tomorrow we are going to have a yard sale. Got the tables set up this afternoon. The dining room is packed with boxes brimming with useless treasures. Everything is priced, I think I'm ready.

It rained today. So it better be fuckin sunny tomorrow, damit! It's probably good that I had a melt down last weekend, this way its less likely that the drama will hit the fan tomorrow.

Ahhh, purging makes me feel good...

Pit bulls kill and maim at Saginaw's childrens petting zoo

OMG! Here I was just saying that when I walked home last weekend that the only thing I was really afraid of was being attacked by dogs.

Less then a week later two pit bull's dug under the fence at the Childrens Petting Zoo in Saginaw and killed three animals and fucked up several other animals. It makes me sick to just think of it. The Zoo is a non-profit volunteer based zoo. Zoo workers managed to kill the one pit bull and the other was captured by animal control. The dog is going to be put down in four days if the owner doesn't claim the dog.

I highly doubt if the owner claims the dog. If he does I think they should make the asshole pay for all the damages. I'm sorry but people should not be able to own animals that kill for FUN.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Architectural series

The Bijou Theatre in its heyday, Bay City, MI. Posted by Picasa

Built in 1908.

The Bijou (State) Theatre now Posted by Picasa

Renovated in 1930 by C. Howard Crane a Detroit architect who was the nations leading designer of movie theaters. It then became the Bay Theater. In 1957 it was renamed the State Theatre.

Architectural rape at its best...

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Drama, get some in your life

There's a sandwich place I go to most Friday nights to get my dinner and while I'm sitting there waiting I always check out this sticker on the side of their gumball machine that says "Drama, get some in your life!" It has the head of a woman on it probably fifties style, I would say. Anyway I always think to myself, who the fuck would WANT drama.

This weekend I got more than I cared for, thank you very much. I wasn't even sure whether or not to blog this week. I've been in a crappy, foul,angry, some what depressed mood as of late.

We went out to the "Berg" Friday after I got outta work. Things went well until we started to leave and our 1970 Caddy wouldn't start. I have a love/hate relationship with this car. So far I've got about $2,000 put into it and it keeps demanding more, more, more, more money. We get it started and stupidly decided to go to the after bar party that's a couple blocks away.

We really wanted to go, cuz this really hot French poz guy that I've had a crush on for the last 10 yrs. was gonna be there and he mentioned that he was interested in both of us. We go and its a small party about 8 of us all together including the two guys throwing the party. Besides the two hosts, us three poz guys, there are 3 other guys. One is "T" who's about my age. He was the "IT" guy back when we first came out. He was with his ex and the other guy I would guess to be his bf.

"T" and his ex are chatting with me and he starts in on his extreme displeasure with me about his ex getting gay bashed several years ago in front of my house during a Halloween party we were throwing.

First of all its not a gay bashing when your being hit by another gay person you fucking twits. The real story is the ex shows up to our Halloween party drunk as a skunk and starts stirring up shit. He called a Mexican girl a bitch and well that's all she fuckin wrote. Girl was pissed the rest of the evening and voiced it thoroughly. Her and her (1) gay and (1)straight friend ask ex to walk them outside to their car, and thats when they slap him up abit. They didn't even leave a mark on him and he slept with my bf later that evening. I'm sure ex told "T" he got gay bashed because he wanted sympathy from him. "Oooo feel sorry for me"

Fuck you both, and thanks for ruining my buzz.

So then I notice that Scooby is missing and so is Hot French Guy. I look and look through the house and finally run across them exchanging BJs in the bathroom. I suck on HFG cock for a moment but then its decided that we really should get back to party. dam. HFG has to work early in the morning so he leaves. Double dam.

Party ends we go to leave and Caddy won't start. Try jumping it but nothing. I start bitching and throwing a fit about the car and mention I want to sell the piece of shit and host "E" insults me by offering me 100. for it. Fuck off...

Hosts tell us that we can stay with them. Fine I guess we don't have a choice. They show us to the spare bedroom and we go to bed. I'm a light sleeper and wake up at the crack of dawn to hear someone whispering in the bedroom. It ends up being host "E" and then he proceeds to jack off my bf, gets him off then heads to work.

Ok I'm fuming now. Yes we have an open relationship. but we don't blatantly do shit right infront of each other, especially when one is sleeping in the same bed. And the hosts don't even have a open relationship. WTF... I'm so fucking mad now I can't get back to sleep. So I get up get dressed and contemplate what to do next. I decide to leave Scooby there and walk home.....15-18 miles.

First stop 7-11 to piss and grab some water for my trip. I walk and walk and walk, and walk......Through the ghetto of Saginaw no less. But I figure that its 10 am people don't get shot or killed at 10am. My worst fear was getting mauled by dogs. I walk past several abandon houses, General Motors, lots of dead animals. Walking, walking, walking. About 8 miles into my trip I'm starting to think this might have been a stupid idea cuz my feet and legs are killing me. But looking forward to getting to the park on the way home cuz it can be cruisy.

A couple more miles and this girl stops and picks me up. She's just made a "pill" run to Saginaw. "Can't work without the vicodin", she says. Also mentions that she really shouldn't be driving since her license is revolked and there is a warrant out for her arrest. GREAT! Anyway she turns out to be nice. Invites me to come down to the bar she works at sometime, says that I could get tattoo'd and pierced right at the bar. Don't think so. She drops me off at her place and I walk the rest of the way home, its about 1pm by the time I get home.

By the time I get home I'm fed up with everything. Smalltown gay assholes, being poz, my exhausting thankless manual labor job, my money pit of a house and car, my unemployed bf, everything... So then I half heartedly think I should just tie a bag around my head and let the bf find me dead on the couch. I don't do it of course, but I can't help entertaining little dramatic scenarios in my head from time to time. And besides it'll never happen cuz no one would be able to collect any of the life insurance.

Drama, get some in your life!

Friday, August 12, 2005

Calling Peggy Gravel

I read Joe's post on his old answering machine message and it reminded me of mine. It wasn't vulgar like Joe's but it was funny.

About 8 years ago

Phone rings...



I got it from John Waters movie "Desperate Living". It was in the beginning of the film when Peggy Gravel (played by Mink Stole) was in the process of having her nervous breakdown.

I loved it! and so did everyone else. Wrong numbers would call back just to hear it again. They'd tell their friends, and then they would call. Most of my messages would be unknown people laughing their asses off. It was a riot.

But I had to retire Peggy once Scooby moved in. He didn't think his mother would understand. Plus it's not really a great first impression to make when mommy inlaw calls for the first time and gets the answering machine....

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Viral load and T Cell counts

Went for my quarterly follow up at the Doctors today.

Viral load still undetectable (9 yrs. and counting)
T cell count 811

So far so good. Normally I don't remember the T cell count after the Doctor tells me. So I'm going to start posting it here. This way I can keep track of it.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Weird and bizarre dreams

My dreams lately are becoming vividly weird.

Last night I dreamed...

I was enslaved on a ship
or was it in a large warehouse.
Everything was steel,
lots of corridors

Their was about a dozen of us men.
All dressed the same.
large black patent leather pumps and old fashion stockings
with garter belts to keep them up.

The garters didn't work.
I had to keep pulling the stockings up.
We hated them
but "The Man" made us wear them.

We weren't naked
can't remember what else we were wearing
too busy hating the shoe and leg wear
something skimpy I think

We were patrolling the corridors
for what, I don't know
More slaves or concubines?
I suppose

The one that had been there the longest said
He had to fuck "The Man" last night
said it was messy
dirty, shitty, messy...

What the fuck is that all about?
Weird and fucked up,
but never a dull moment..
It was like "Rocky Horror" goes to the bathhouse...

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Jonathon Caouette Posted by Picasa

This is a teenage picture of Jonathan Caouette he has a documenary out on his life called "Tarnation". It was backed by Gus Van Zant and John Cameron Mitchel (creator of Headwig and the Angry Inch). I recently discovered online that Jonathon did his documenty on a mear $187. See below for further info. on the film.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Tarnation by Jonathon Caouette

I saw this movie/documentary twice this week and it brought me to tears. Everything goes to hell in the late 60's/early 1970's when Jonathon's mom falls off the roof of her parents home and becomes temporarily paralized. Her parents start to think she's faking and a neighborhood friend convinces them that she needs shock therapy so they send her off to get shock treatments, twice a week for 2 years! His mom was never the same again. Growing up gay with a mentally ill mother, I'd just like to give Jonathon a big long hug. It's a beautiful yet disturbing film.


TARNATION is thirty-one year old director Jonathan Caouette’s inspiring documentary self-portrait, chronicling his chaotic upbringing in a dysfunctional Texas family and the unexpected relationship that develops with his mentally-ill mother Renee.

The film begins with the early history of Caouette’s family. His grandparents, Adolph and Rosemary, were married in 1951 and experienced a middle-class life in a Houston suburb. But their idyllic early years quickly disintegrate after they opt to incarcerate their beauty-queen daughter Renee, who undergoes shock therapy after a suspected mental condition is diagnosed. Renee¹s personality is severely compromised after two years of treatment, resulting in a tortured life of mental illness, physical abuse, and a seemingly endless series of hospitalizations. Her saving grace arrives in the form of her son,

Jonathan, born in 1972.

As Jonathan grows up on camera over a two-decade span, he forges an unbreakable, often heartbreaking bond with Renee, discovering along the way his own personal difficulty - depersonalization, an affliction involving feelings of detachment from one¹s own body or thoughts. Using filmmaking and self-documentation as a means of escape and salvation, Jonathan eludes his harsh existence through the safe, controlled world of cinema and make-believe. He becomes enthralled with underground movies, musical theatre and alternative gay culture, and yearns for the day when he can escape Texas and make a life of his own. As a young adult Jonathan migrates to New York City and finds a secure, loving home with boyfriend David Sanin Paz. His relationship with Renee grows even deeper after a lithium overdose requires sacrifice, compassion and an outpouring of love.

Included in TARNATION are fragments from Caouette’s personal collection of photographs, home movies, audio recordings, video diaries, answering machine messages, Hollywood movie clips, pop music samples and excerpts from his own short films. While undeniably a documentary at heart, TARNATION mines a greater terrain, serving up a history of late twentieth century popular culture and family life that plays out like a collective fever dream. Caouette’s devastating yet hopeful vision becomes a haunting and beautiful examination of the restless soul of America.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Motorcycle daddies

one of many... Posted by Picasa

This weekend was "Biker Blast" down at the park behind the house. There were so fucking many hot bikers driving past the house this weekend, I was beside myself. This is the only decent pic I got cuz...well...I don't live with my camera around my neck...I guess I need too. They better have this event again next year. I liked it...

fur + sweat = me Posted by Picasa

 Posted by Picasa