Friday, July 30, 2004

After playing phone tag all week, my second cousin called me today. He wanted to see if I was going to come to their family reunion. This would be my grandfathers brothers family on my mom's side. I started researching all our family genealogies (history's) several years ago and ended up putting together booklets that date our family from about the mid 1800's to current. Now the word has spread through out the other families and everyone wants to see what I've come up with so far. The call went really well considering I'm horrible when it comes to talking to people I don't know (in person and/or on the telephone). But then again I have alot of family info. so its not that I can't find anything to say.

I'm kind of freaked out about going, call it being shy or social anxiety, I just seem to clam up in social events. It's the main reason I was drunk during my 20's, alcohol seemed to help loosen me up. It shouldn't be to bad since, like I said, I do have alot of info. to talk about and plus my father is going to go with me and he at least knows some of these people. I wish my mom was still alive, she was a very fun, social and out going kind of gal. She would have been very helpful in this predicament. Man, I miss her, it's hard to believe she's been gone 8 yrs..

I think my social problems stem from my days at Flowing Wells Jr. High School out in Tucson, AZ. I don't know how it is now, but back in the late 70's early 80's it was all fight, fight, fight. The teachers really needed to patrol the campus, but they didn't. When I was in 7th or 8th grade, my friend Dawn was pointing out her older brother during lunch in the cafeteria and this short 9th grade Hispanic guy thought I was looking/talking about him. Well he came over and started yelling and bitch slapping me for it. I tried to explain, but it fell on deaf ears, and he continued to harass me for the rest of the year. I probably could have fought him and won cuz I was bigger than him, but fighting him would have opened up a whole nother can of worms with his "Chollo" friends. To this day I still have problems making eye contact with straight people.

But anyway, its starting to rain and I really hope that its going to be clear tomorrow cuz I really need to go to this reunion, for my sake more than anyone else's. I plan on taking a Xanax before hand to help put me at ease.

That's it I'm outta here, have a good weekend.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

HIV meds and the side effects

First of all just want a say that every person is different, so HIV meds affect everyone differently. This is just the accounts of myself and Scoobys side effects.

When I first became poz back in 1996 my doctors put me on AZT and 3TC (which soon was combined together to become Combivir) and Crixivan. I don't know if they use Crixivan anymore but the shit was like rat poison. We were on Crixivan for several years and the side effects never went away while on this drug.

Side Effects of Crixivan:

Chronic vomiting :(Mine wasn't chronic but Scooby threw up every morning on and off from the time he got up till about noon.)

Chronic diarrhea: (Same as the vomiting on and off all morning till about noon. It was so bad that Scooby and I started referring to our asshole as our "Water holes" since that's all that came out. We tried all kinds of drugs to help this, but all everything seemed to do was change the water different colors
Rule #1 for chronic diarrhea don't leave home until your sure that your done blowing out.

Rule #2 If you have chronic diarrhea don't ever fart in public. "Oops I crapped my pants"

Excessive drying of skin: ( I don't know if it was this or the diarrhea but my self lubing juicy asshole dryed out and getting fucked turned into a nightmare. Using lube didn't work because it fiercely burned. I joked during this time that if I'd of been on meds before I became poz , I'd of never been infected. I've been off of Crixivan for several years now and my hole is finally just starting to get back to normal. Yea!

Forget consuming Alcohol: I used to throw up before I even got a buzz. One good thing is it saved me from being/continuing to be an alcoholic.

Powder burps: Crixivan I guess doesn't dissolve well or at all, cuz I would occasionally burp and a puff of powder would waft out of my mouth. "Honestly I don't eat baby powder or cocaine for that matter"

and last but not least:
Crixivan Slivers: after time these slivers get stuck in your kidneys and they pass like kidney stones. After the third time our Dr. took us off of Crixivan.

I was then put on Viracept and Scooby was put on Zerit and Sustiva

Side effects of Viracept:

Headaches: I had a headache for the first couple of months of being on this. I don't know if they went away or if I just got use to them. I've suffered from migrain headaches since I was 5 so a regular headache is not a big deal.

Diarrhea: not as bad as Crixivan, we do occasionally have a solid turd and thats cause for celebration. "Yea! Solid Turd Day"

Joint and Muscle problems: Maybe I'm just getting older (37) but sometimes I feel like I'm 85. When I'm tired it seems to be worse (I start to hobble a little and definitely hold on to the hand rails while using stairs).

Hunger: When I need to eat I need to eat NOW or else my stomach gets really fucking angry and if I wait to long then I can't eat and sometimes dry heave. I now eat small meals every 3 hrs and that seems to work. Even if its just a bowl of cereal or a sandwich.

Memory loss: Sometimes I'm good, sometimes I'm Aunt Clara from Bewitched. "Oh goodness where am I"

Note: Scooby doesn't have problems with Viracept or Zerit

Side effect of Sustiva:

Nightmares: Scooby has a recurring nightmare of walking out infront of a eighteen wheeler even after he looks both ways. One of our friends has nightmares of being murdered and of murdering others.

Possible Side effects of unknown origin (maybe combivir)

Hemorrhoidal Bloodclots: These clots form in the hemorroidal tissue around the asshole. Dr. says that they normally dissolve. I had to have one sliced and squeezed out. Don't apply ice or a cold compress this makes it much worse and even more painful. Medicated powder like Gold Bond works great, the dollar store brand is just as good. I've had a couple of other ones start, but with the powder they seem to dissolve and go away on their own. Scooby and I have both had these within the last year and the only thing we're both on is Combivir.

Anyway that's it in a nutshell. Its very disturbing that there are guys out there that want to get infected and I just want to say: HIV meds are not like the Flintstones chewable vitamins that your mother used to give ya.

Sometimes I think that the meds will possibly kill me before the disease does, considering that (as far as I know) there is no knowledge of the long term effects of these drugs.

Anyway, I'm alive and I feel alright and am still able to work a full time manual labor job, so it's all good so far.

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Canoeing with Hot Men

We went canoeing on the Rifle river yesterday with two other gay couples and had a excellent time.  It was R & T's idea, T was off this week on vacation and being that he's from Australia  R wanted to take him canoeing.  R is in his early 40's, smooth and muscular, T is in his early 30's, muscular, furry and tattooed (Yum, Yum Yum) combine that with his Aussie accent and OMG!  The other couple was J & D.  Both in their early twenties, slim, tight, muscular bodies to die for.  We stopped in the middle of our trip and D jumped in the river and started swimming.   I was the second to jump in, it was kinda cold but it did feel very refreshing.  We all swam around except for J who stood on the banks and watched us.  In fact I caught J looking at me a few times when I was standing in the water up to my waist.  I just figured that I must of had something on me or something.  Then on our way home J complimented me on how good I looked, actually I think the words "Fit and tight" might have been mentioned.  I was fucking blown away that a hot guy in his early twenties thought that I had a good body. 

I can't remember anyone ever giving me a compliment on my body before in my life, other than Scooby loves my furry chest.  I'm normally so critical of myself and now I'm kinda seeing me in a new light.  Granted I've never been fat, its just that I've never been in shape either.  I've never had the extra funds to go to a gym, and as for exercising, well I get into it for about a week or two then I miss a day, the day turns into a week, the week turns into a month and so on.  Being that I'm turning 38 this September, I know I really got to start some kind of work out routine and stick to it.   I guess I better take some new pics soon.  

Monday, July 19, 2004

Our (Winchester) house

When our house was first built in the 1870's/80's it was a 4 room house. Living room and kitchen down and two bedrooms up. Sometime in the early 1900's an addition was built on which included a new kitchen, dining room, another bedroom and bathroom.  By the time I bought the place back in 1991 it was had been abandon for about 10 yrs.  The only major things that needed to be done was new plumming and replace the hot water heater.  Thanks to Ace Hardware for giving me the low down on putting in plastic pipes, it only took a weekend to get the new water lines ran.  Other than that it was all cosmetic: patching plaster walls, painting inside and out, and major cleaning, and clearing all the overgrown brush ect. from around the outside.
Then I met Scooby.
Scooby is a jack of all trades and can do practically anything when he puts his mind to it, building, plumbing, electrical ect..   Well after our first year together we tore off the small 7 by 7 back porch and built a 10 by 18 enclosed porch. (The one we now use as a summer living room)  Then Scooby didn't like the way the kitchen was.  It had already been screwed up by past renovations, so Scooby built all new cabinets ect. and we also knocked out the wall between the kitchen and dining to open the two rooms up for better entertaining.  These rooms are almost done other than small detail work.
Then there was the ordeal about the stairway upstairs.  It was so narrow and steep that it was difficult to get even a boxsprings for a single bed upstairs. So we started thinking about building a new larger stairway.  We wanted the house to look like it hadn't been added onto, or in other words we didn't want it to look architecturally raped.  So in order to do this we not only built a stairway but a computerroom/office downstairs and above that a room that will be a future bathroom. That project alone took over 2 years to complete.  Oiy Vei 
This new project: The back part of the roof needed to be replaced because it was starting to leak and the new walls in the kitchen was starting to show water stains because of it.  Well Scooby of course, with his "While we're at it" view on things talked me into building on two large dormers on the attic space and also a large 10 by 20 open side porch that comes off of the bedroom downstairs.  Now that we got the dormers built, the attic is so large, we're thinking of making it our bedroom.  I swear its the largest room in the house now. But anyway with the new dormers and porch it created more roof lines which take more detail work to do.  Then of course when it's really hot its impossible to do any roofing because when the roof is hot it fucks it up to stand on it.  Double Oiy Vei
I told Scooby that this is it, no more additions. Once the roof and the siding is done, thats it and besides we really need to get the place done before fall of 2006 because there are rumours at work that when my contract it up that our dept. will be no more and that they will be hiring an outside cleaning co..  Once again "Capitalism Sucks".   I'm not too worried about losing my job though because it will be the kick in the ass I need to get us the hell out of Michigan and do something else. 

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Boating and The Doobie Brothers

We worked on our roof for awhile yesterday but quit early and went boating with our friend Joseph on his little boat, "The Larry Lee" is a 1967 Slickcraft that seats about 5 people.  With the wind it was a little to chilly to swim so instead of going out on the bay we went up the Saginaw river.  Went under some tiny bridges to get to areas that other boats can't get to. It was so calm and relaxing getting away from the river congestion and all the straight families and their big fancy boats.  I got a little too tipsy and almost fell off the boat while trying to take a piss off the side, its what I get for mixing Transfusions with beer.  I fixed sandwiches for our trip and they helped soak up some of the alcohol, so then I  had a few more beers.  Went down the Cheboyganing creek which also doesn't get any boat traffic cause of the two small bridges that cross over it.   Didn't see anyone for miles and it looked clean enough to swim in.
We got back around 9:30 and there were cars everywhere and then remembered that "The Doobie Brothers" were playing down at the park behind the house.  It was so weird to actually be able to hear the concert from our backyard.
Anyway that was Saturday in a nutshell.  Today we'll go back to working on the roof, Oh Joy!
I totally forgot to mention when we were boating on the main river that we saw a woman giving head to her boyfriend at a park on the banks of the Saginaw river in broad daylight.  This really pisses me off cause guys get busted down there or at least chased away by the cops at night, but straight people can have sex during the day in the park with no problem.  Yeah, that's fair...NOT...

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Stranger Nights

A couple of weeks ago around 2am Thursday night/Friday morning Scooby and I were sitting out on the back porch (which is basically our living room during the summer) watching tv, when we (including the cat) see something/one go past the window. We sit there and kinda go, "What the fuck was that". Scooby goes to the back door and turns on the light and there is this woman standing in our back yard and she immediately says, "Do you have a phone, I need to call for a ride". Scooby tells her to go back around to the front door and he'll bring her a phone. I'm thinking something isn't right about this picture. First of all, we always keep our front porch light on and we have a doorbell. Why the fuck didn't she use the doorbell and what is she wandering around in our back yard for, at 2am no less? Well Scooby brings her the phone and she's got a boyfriend that's standing out front. They make a few local calls tell the person they're calling that they were at a party and the cops showed up so they ran. They find someone to come get them, then they leave. Weird, Weird, Weird... We are in the process of some construction on our house and I personally think that they were casing out the place looking for something to steal. Needless to say, I'm seriously thinking about doing a "Home Alone" job on the back yard just to keep it interesting for the tresspassers.

Maybe its because we live at a major intersection in town, because weird things like this happen to us alot. We had one guy come knock on our door last year in the middle of the night looking for a hand out. He asked if our house was the parsonage for the church across the street and we told him no. He said he needed to buy a gallon of milk for his kids and he didn't have any money. Well, we gave him enough to buy milk, he graciously thanked us and left. And like a stray cat that you feed, the guy started coming back regularly trying to hit us up for money. Scooby finally had to be a little rude to the guy and told him not to come back. A few months ago, the same guy caught me getting out of my car one night and started up with the same story about needing money for milk for the kids blah, blah blah. I gave him a few bucks, then he tells me the store is to far on bicycle and asked if i'd drive him there. I told him that I just got our of work and was tired and that no I couldn't give him a ride. Our neighbor later told us that he frequents the bar down the street and is constantly hittin people up for money. If he comes back again asking for money, He's going to at least let me see his cock.

The best and wierdest happend just a couple of nights ago. 1:30am the door bell rings, I think that it's probably our neighbor Jake (early 20's, cute and straight) because he knows were usually up till 2am and occassionally stops by to chat and bitch about his life. I open the door and here is this cute little gay boy with a LAPD hat on. I looked like shit and was horrified that anyone that I don't really know is seeing me like this. (You see, I had a mole cut off the end of my nose a while back, which is healing really fuckin slow, so at night I cover it in Neosporin and an bandaid to help it heal.) Anyway I'm surprised that it's not our neighbor and he's surprised that a Bandaid face answers the door so we both kinda half heartedly laugh and He says, "I just wanted to stop and say that I really like your stained glass rainbow in the window, and I'm kinda lost, could you tell me how to get to the hospital, I've got another 3 miles to go once I get there." He's kinda acting not really right, like he's either drunk or on drugs or something. I give him directions, he comments again on the stained glass rainbow and then he leaves. Then I think, was he driving?, cause its raining really hard, so I look out the door and there's no car and he's gone. I tell Scooby what just happened and we look out towards the bridge and he's not there. I finally see a figure almost a block away and the person looks alot more fucked up then the kid I had just talked to. This person is stumbling around, then it looks as if they sit down on the curb, then it looks like the person went out in the street and laid down. I tell Scooby to come on, if its the same kid, we'll give him a ride to where ever he's going. Vainly I take off the bandaid, grab a couple of large towels for him to dry off with and we leave. We get up to the light and yes it is the same kid, but some woman is picking him up by then, so we turn around and go home. God if he'd of just asked me for a ride to begin with I would have been happy to help him out.

Hell, several years ago around Christmas, Scooby and I were decorating the tree and this girl rings our doorbell and says that she lives around the block and could I give her a ride to her boyfriends. It being the Holidays, and me being the kind of person who likes to do good deeds (mainly to try and correct the bad karma that I've created in the past), I of course drive her to her boyfriends.

With all these occurances Scooby says it wouldn't faze him one bit if someone stopped by one day and said, "Can I have a broom, a can of tuna and a ride to Ohio"....

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Party's, Taboo Nazi's, and the perfect relationship

Well me and Scoobys party went very well. It's got to be the first time that I wasn't thinking either before or after the party, "Why the fuck do I do all this", and I didn't even take a Xanax, I'm so proud of myself. These 4th of July parties are normally rushed and very stressed, but we started early this year and things couldn't have went smoother.

Our friend Joette brought the game Taboo and being the pushy person she is started trying to force everyone to play. Well I'm horrible at those "think on your feet" type games especially after I've been drinking so I pretended to be busy restocking the food trays in the kitchen and chatting with the others who were trying to escape her wrath. It all ended up being good though, because she was just so hilariously wound up about this game that everyone started calling her the Taboo Nazi.

I didn't end up propositioning Big John. He arrived fashionably late with an entourage of friends and the timing just didn't seem right. Mac arrived after the fireworks and we went out to the backyard where the Taboo Nazi had started up another game. Like me, Mac wasn't into playing Taboo either so I suggested we go upstairs and I could show him the dormer additions that we are building onto the attic area of the house. We did that, then we started smooching on each other and I reached down and started massaging his rock hard cock. I really wanted him right there and now but we decided it would be best to go back to the party. Even though Scooby and I had decided preparty that if we were going to trick with anyone during the party that we'd set out our little red plastic pig in the stairway, and that would be a sign to come back later.

I had already known that Scoobys playmate Jimmy was spending the night that night cause he had to be to work just down the street at 11am the next day. Well I'm not really interested in Jimmy, I don't know why, he just doesn't click for me. Sooo I invited Mac to spend the night and after the end of the party I told Scooby that him and Jimmy could have our bedroom and that Mac and I would sleep in the guest bedroom. Scooby was cool with that so that's what we did. Unfortunately after drinking most of the day and not being "cleaned up" I told Mac that it wouldn't be a good idea for him to fuck me that night. He was cool with that so we played orally for awhile and then dozed off.

Our cat Mr. Poo woke me up early the next morning all distressed cause Scooby and Jimmy had shut him out of the bedroom so I got up and consoled him with some canned food. Then since I was up, I got "cleaned up" and went back upstairs to Mac. He woke up shortly after and we started kissing and I whispered in his ear that if he wanted to fuck me, that I was good to go. He said, "Oh yeah" and rolled me over on my back and slid his hard cock inside me and we fucked for a good part of Sunday morning.

Sunday afternoon after everyone had left Scooby really had the need to have a certain cavity filled, so I popped a 1/2 a viagra and we went to bed. He laid on his stomach and I slid in from behind and gave him a slow hard deep fuck. I took turns gripping his shoulders and then his head for leverage and slowly pulled almost out then shoved my cock all the way in. I can tell he likes it cause he really moans when I hit bottom.
I loves me Scooby.