Monday, January 04, 2010

Ugh, I seriously considered ending this blog at the start of this year. I haven't been blogging much if you have noticed. Its hard blogging when you live in small suburbia. Fags are like little clucky hens gossiping about everything and everybody and blogging about personal aspects of my life just gives them fuel for the fire. I don't mind my friends reading, but gossipy accquaintences.... well, fucks with my head.

But anyway, after deleting the last couple of posts, I guess I'm going to hang out for a little while longer.

Scooby and I's trip to New Orleans over the Holiday was great, somewhat low key for NOLA but great just the same. We didn't drink as excessively as we have in the past, actually we've spent most of last year cutting back on our drinking. It was great to go on vacation and not have to worry and sometimes babysit a drunk bf. In fact I think I actually fell in love with him this Holiday season. I've always loved him, but this trip it got a bit stronger. Instead of being pissed off at him getting sloppy drunk, I enjoyed his slightly buzzed company.

Last night, we had a nice dinner and movie evening with the crush. A friend voiced his concern about it breaking Scooby and I up considering I'm kinda gaga over the crush, but I assured him that's not the case, especially since our NOLA trip. After all Scooby is the brains behind this operation, plus he's my soul mate, and with his health the way it is, well we are in it for the long haul. We're all just having fun, casual intimate relations. If it grows into more then great, but we are happy with how it is. I've always had issues with depression and low self esteem so having a guy in his early twenties interested in us has been a big boost. Something that I desperately needed.


Christopher said...

Seriously, keep blogging. I have searched and searched for a decent queer blog to follow and everyone else seems that they've faded away, so I was super stoked to find yours. When looking for blogs based on blogger profile interests, not a single one of them were of interest, and somehow I found yours clicking away...

Good writing, it's nice to see someone who has had a recent bout of self exploration that they have been able to say "Wow, life is good..." rather than bitch.

Good writing, I look forward to coming back!

Christopher said...

Sorry, am an insomniac...I was rereading what you wrote, and the last few sentences spoke to me, the whole thing about depression and low self esteem.

I can totally relate, hopefully someday you will be able to look at yourself (in the spirit of Margaret Cho) and say "Fuck it, maybe this is who I am. This is what and who I will always be." and find a sense of acceptance. I wish that for anyone. I have been down that road, that parallel universe it is that you seem to be speaking of as far as issues go.

But just remember, that every window in Alcatraz has a view of San Francisco...never let yourself be your own prison.