I've been slightly stewing about something that happened at work the other day, but wasn't going to blog about it cuz I'm trying to keep this light and happy. But fuck it I can't "Brady Bunchize" my thoughts to make everyone comfy and happy, its my blog damit.
Ok just to get you caught up. Being the considerate person that I am, I gave thank you cards to the two people in my building that sponsored me in the Aids Walk Michigan walk. Basically just thanking them for sponsoring me. This is the conversation that took place the other day.
Nice Lady: Hi Mike, thank you so much for the thank you card, it really made my day.
Me: You don't have to thank me, thank you for sponsoring me.
Two others that were listening to our conversation: Card? What card, for what?
Nice Lady: For giving him money for the Aids walk he did.
Others: Oh
As the others were leaving the one guy pipes up: Gee "Nice Lady" if I walk past your house will you give me money?
WTF is that suppose to mean? I didn't walk for myself. I did it for a worthy cause you cheap ass MF. I'm probably making mountains out of molehills, but it just pissed me off and hurt my feelings. By him saying that it just made me feel like he was implying that I was just scamming the people at work for money. Considering that our University we work for was built by guys who brown nosed little old rich ladies out of all their money, he's got some nerve.
There end of rant...
Showing posts with label HIV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HIV. Show all posts
Friday, October 21, 2005
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Viral load and T Cell counts
Went for my quarterly follow up at the Doctors today.
Viral load still undetectable (9 yrs. and counting)
T cell count 811
So far so good. Normally I don't remember the T cell count after the Doctor tells me. So I'm going to start posting it here. This way I can keep track of it.
Viral load still undetectable (9 yrs. and counting)
T cell count 811
So far so good. Normally I don't remember the T cell count after the Doctor tells me. So I'm going to start posting it here. This way I can keep track of it.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Sunday Morning Drama Theatre
Sunday morning around 10am the phone rings.
Me: Hello
Other person: Hello is this Mike ____?
Me: Yes
OP: This is nurse _____ at ______ Hospital in New Orleans, we have a Jonny _____ here do you know him?
Me: Yes, I clean house for them.
(Nurse talks excitedly to possible other nurse)He knows him! He's his house keeper.
Nurse: Would you be able to tell us why he is so disoriented? Your the only person he can remember a name and # for. He doesn't even know where he's staying down here.
Me: Well he's HIV, I can't say for sure but he's possibly in the AIDS stage. He always stays at the Monteleone Hotel on Royal St..
Nurse: HIV, AIDS, Monteleone Hotel..ok We're just trying to get him back home. Do you know if he is here with anyone? Is there anything else you can tell me about his health?
Me: I think he went down by himself. and yes he's been having occasional seizures for about 6 months and he sleeps alot.
Nurse: (surprised) By himself? Seizures for last 6 mo., sleeps alot, ok. Do you know a Luthor _____?
Me: Yes thats his boy friend.
Nurse: Where is he at? Do you have his cell phone #?
Me: He's in Chicago this weekend, they took separate vacations, and no I don't have a cell phone # for him. I don't even know were he's staying in Chicago.
Nurse:(surprised) separate vacations?
Me: Yes. We have the same HIV/AIDS case worker you might be able to contact him, his name and # is ______. He might have Luthor's cell #.
Nurse: (Happy, excited)A case worker! Oh your just full of information. Thank you so much. Does he have any family?
Me: Yes, I think his parents live in (southern state).
(in background) Nurse asking Jonny, "Do your parents live in _____. Jonny responding.
Nurse: Ok we have a town and state for his parents. Thank you so much. If we hit dead ends with these leads, I'll be calling you back.
Me: ok
I immediately started calling around trying to find anyone with Luthors #. No such luck. The whole ordeal made me want to cry. I only see Jonny once a week when I go over to clean and lately he sleeps the whole time I'm there. When he is awake he's normally in a really agitated mood. Last year when they went to New Orleans Jonny ended up not leaving his hotel room because his legs wouldn't work. I can't believe he went down there by himself. Jonny and I found out about our HIV status around the same time. Unfortunately the hiv meds have never worked for him and he's been slowly deteriorating every since.
I'm mad and sad about the whole thing. Today I called Luthor and Jonny's house and got the machine and left a message to see if they made it home ok. I also got a hold of our case worker and he hadn't been contacted by anyone. I don't know what's going on and it's driving me crazy. I hope Jonny is ok.
I've been noticing with myself that I've had problems with my own memory lately. And I've gotten lost once driving a route that I've taken a million times. Not to mention that I recently took a newspaper quiz about altziemers and I answered yes to every question. So this is really hitting me. I made Scooby promise that he'd never let me travel by myself if I get as bad as Jonny.
Me: Hello
Other person: Hello is this Mike ____?
Me: Yes
OP: This is nurse _____ at ______ Hospital in New Orleans, we have a Jonny _____ here do you know him?
Me: Yes, I clean house for them.
(Nurse talks excitedly to possible other nurse)He knows him! He's his house keeper.
Nurse: Would you be able to tell us why he is so disoriented? Your the only person he can remember a name and # for. He doesn't even know where he's staying down here.
Me: Well he's HIV, I can't say for sure but he's possibly in the AIDS stage. He always stays at the Monteleone Hotel on Royal St..
Nurse: HIV, AIDS, Monteleone Hotel..ok We're just trying to get him back home. Do you know if he is here with anyone? Is there anything else you can tell me about his health?
Me: I think he went down by himself. and yes he's been having occasional seizures for about 6 months and he sleeps alot.
Nurse: (surprised) By himself? Seizures for last 6 mo., sleeps alot, ok. Do you know a Luthor _____?
Me: Yes thats his boy friend.
Nurse: Where is he at? Do you have his cell phone #?
Me: He's in Chicago this weekend, they took separate vacations, and no I don't have a cell phone # for him. I don't even know were he's staying in Chicago.
Nurse:(surprised) separate vacations?
Me: Yes. We have the same HIV/AIDS case worker you might be able to contact him, his name and # is ______. He might have Luthor's cell #.
Nurse: (Happy, excited)A case worker! Oh your just full of information. Thank you so much. Does he have any family?
Me: Yes, I think his parents live in (southern state).
(in background) Nurse asking Jonny, "Do your parents live in _____. Jonny responding.
Nurse: Ok we have a town and state for his parents. Thank you so much. If we hit dead ends with these leads, I'll be calling you back.
Me: ok
I immediately started calling around trying to find anyone with Luthors #. No such luck. The whole ordeal made me want to cry. I only see Jonny once a week when I go over to clean and lately he sleeps the whole time I'm there. When he is awake he's normally in a really agitated mood. Last year when they went to New Orleans Jonny ended up not leaving his hotel room because his legs wouldn't work. I can't believe he went down there by himself. Jonny and I found out about our HIV status around the same time. Unfortunately the hiv meds have never worked for him and he's been slowly deteriorating every since.
I'm mad and sad about the whole thing. Today I called Luthor and Jonny's house and got the machine and left a message to see if they made it home ok. I also got a hold of our case worker and he hadn't been contacted by anyone. I don't know what's going on and it's driving me crazy. I hope Jonny is ok.
I've been noticing with myself that I've had problems with my own memory lately. And I've gotten lost once driving a route that I've taken a million times. Not to mention that I recently took a newspaper quiz about altziemers and I answered yes to every question. So this is really hitting me. I made Scooby promise that he'd never let me travel by myself if I get as bad as Jonny.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Becoming Positive 1995-96
I wasn't always a slut ya know. Before I became positive at the age of 29 I had had about a handful of relationships lasting anywhere from a couple of months to 3 yrs. Things started going to shit when my mom got sick back in early 1995. I had just come back from a Souxie and the Banshee concert down in Detroit. It was a two hour drive back home from the concert and I got home to find a message on my answering machine. The message was from my sister, she basically said that mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor and that they did immediate surgery and that we were all flying down to Jacksonville, FL to the Mayo Clinic the next morning, and to be at her house early. I immediately sat down and cried and then composed myself and started making calls to work and to find someone to take care of my dog ect.
The doctor didn't have good news. Moms tumor was one that would grow back and the chance of survival wasn't good. They wanted to keep her there and start chemo or whatever immediately, but mom said, "Just take me home to die", its all us kids could do to keep from crying. We made arrangements to have her take chemo back home and then my sisters flew with my parents back and my brother and I drove their car back home to Michigan.
During the summer of 95 is when I became infected. I know this cuz I would get tested every year, except this year I didn't go get tested. I only had unprotected sex twice, once with my boyfriend and once with this bisexual biker guy whom I had played with once or twice before. Me and my boyfriend at the time were kinda on again off again basically it only lasted about 6 months. He never wanted me to wear a condom when I fucked him so I thought if he trusts me then I could trust him. He only fucked my once and then I told him not to cum in me. Whether he did or not, I don't know. To this day he still says he's negative.
The bisexual biker guy was hot and I loved when he gave me rides on the back of his big ass motorcycle. I also let him fuck me with out a condom. I figured that since we both lived in the middle of no where and he basically just fucked women that he was a safe bet. I don't know what happen to him, I haven't seen him since I told him that I tested poz.
Mom's health started getting worse and the doctors decided to operate again on Thanksgiving day. The tumor had grown back entirely. They took it out again, but this time there was no alternative, we were going to loose her. I remember one of the nurses asking us, "What nursing home are you going to put her in?", and we told her that we weren't going to put her in a nursing home that we were going to take her home and take care of her ourselves and that is what we did, with the help of visiting nurses.
Mom died on the morning of her birthday in mid January 1996. Right before she died my father said, "Well at least you made it to your birthday and then he ran crying from the bedroom". It was the only time I've ever seen my father cry. My sister went and brought him back and we sat and watched my mom take her last breath and then she was gone. Visiting nurses came and confirmed that she was gone. Then the funeral home was called and they came to pick her up. Their stretcher wouldn't fit in the bedroom so my brother and I had to help the two morticians carry her out into the living room and place on the stretcher.
During the funeral planning it was decided that since I was never going to get married that I should be buried with mom and dad when I died and that we would just get one tombstone with all three of our names on it. I agreed and thats what was done.
Cut to July 1996: Since I missed my hiv test in 95 I decided to go in and get tested. I was honestly shocked when the nurse at the health dept. told me that it came back positive. I left, called in sick and went down to the river and cried.
The same week our tombstone was delivered to the cemetery.
The doctor didn't have good news. Moms tumor was one that would grow back and the chance of survival wasn't good. They wanted to keep her there and start chemo or whatever immediately, but mom said, "Just take me home to die", its all us kids could do to keep from crying. We made arrangements to have her take chemo back home and then my sisters flew with my parents back and my brother and I drove their car back home to Michigan.
During the summer of 95 is when I became infected. I know this cuz I would get tested every year, except this year I didn't go get tested. I only had unprotected sex twice, once with my boyfriend and once with this bisexual biker guy whom I had played with once or twice before. Me and my boyfriend at the time were kinda on again off again basically it only lasted about 6 months. He never wanted me to wear a condom when I fucked him so I thought if he trusts me then I could trust him. He only fucked my once and then I told him not to cum in me. Whether he did or not, I don't know. To this day he still says he's negative.
The bisexual biker guy was hot and I loved when he gave me rides on the back of his big ass motorcycle. I also let him fuck me with out a condom. I figured that since we both lived in the middle of no where and he basically just fucked women that he was a safe bet. I don't know what happen to him, I haven't seen him since I told him that I tested poz.
Mom's health started getting worse and the doctors decided to operate again on Thanksgiving day. The tumor had grown back entirely. They took it out again, but this time there was no alternative, we were going to loose her. I remember one of the nurses asking us, "What nursing home are you going to put her in?", and we told her that we weren't going to put her in a nursing home that we were going to take her home and take care of her ourselves and that is what we did, with the help of visiting nurses.
Mom died on the morning of her birthday in mid January 1996. Right before she died my father said, "Well at least you made it to your birthday and then he ran crying from the bedroom". It was the only time I've ever seen my father cry. My sister went and brought him back and we sat and watched my mom take her last breath and then she was gone. Visiting nurses came and confirmed that she was gone. Then the funeral home was called and they came to pick her up. Their stretcher wouldn't fit in the bedroom so my brother and I had to help the two morticians carry her out into the living room and place on the stretcher.
During the funeral planning it was decided that since I was never going to get married that I should be buried with mom and dad when I died and that we would just get one tombstone with all three of our names on it. I agreed and thats what was done.
Cut to July 1996: Since I missed my hiv test in 95 I decided to go in and get tested. I was honestly shocked when the nurse at the health dept. told me that it came back positive. I left, called in sick and went down to the river and cried.
The same week our tombstone was delivered to the cemetery.
Thursday, July 29, 2004
HIV meds and the side effects
First of all just want a say that every person is different, so HIV meds affect everyone differently. This is just the accounts of myself and Scoobys side effects.
When I first became poz back in 1996 my doctors put me on AZT and 3TC (which soon was combined together to become Combivir) and Crixivan. I don't know if they use Crixivan anymore but the shit was like rat poison. We were on Crixivan for several years and the side effects never went away while on this drug.
Side Effects of Crixivan:
Chronic vomiting :(Mine wasn't chronic but Scooby threw up every morning on and off from the time he got up till about noon.)
Chronic diarrhea: (Same as the vomiting on and off all morning till about noon. It was so bad that Scooby and I started referring to our asshole as our "Water holes" since that's all that came out. We tried all kinds of drugs to help this, but all everything seemed to do was change the water different colors
Rule #1 for chronic diarrhea don't leave home until your sure that your done blowing out.
Rule #2 If you have chronic diarrhea don't ever fart in public. "Oops I crapped my pants"
Excessive drying of skin: ( I don't know if it was this or the diarrhea but my self lubing juicy asshole dryed out and getting fucked turned into a nightmare. Using lube didn't work because it fiercely burned. I joked during this time that if I'd of been on meds before I became poz , I'd of never been infected. I've been off of Crixivan for several years now and my hole is finally just starting to get back to normal. Yea!
Forget consuming Alcohol: I used to throw up before I even got a buzz. One good thing is it saved me from being/continuing to be an alcoholic.
Powder burps: Crixivan I guess doesn't dissolve well or at all, cuz I would occasionally burp and a puff of powder would waft out of my mouth. "Honestly I don't eat baby powder or cocaine for that matter"
and last but not least:
Crixivan Slivers: after time these slivers get stuck in your kidneys and they pass like kidney stones. After the third time our Dr. took us off of Crixivan.
I was then put on Viracept and Scooby was put on Zerit and Sustiva
Side effects of Viracept:
Headaches: I had a headache for the first couple of months of being on this. I don't know if they went away or if I just got use to them. I've suffered from migrain headaches since I was 5 so a regular headache is not a big deal.
Diarrhea: not as bad as Crixivan, we do occasionally have a solid turd and thats cause for celebration. "Yea! Solid Turd Day"
Joint and Muscle problems: Maybe I'm just getting older (37) but sometimes I feel like I'm 85. When I'm tired it seems to be worse (I start to hobble a little and definitely hold on to the hand rails while using stairs).
Hunger: When I need to eat I need to eat NOW or else my stomach gets really fucking angry and if I wait to long then I can't eat and sometimes dry heave. I now eat small meals every 3 hrs and that seems to work. Even if its just a bowl of cereal or a sandwich.
Memory loss: Sometimes I'm good, sometimes I'm Aunt Clara from Bewitched. "Oh goodness where am I"
Note: Scooby doesn't have problems with Viracept or Zerit
Side effect of Sustiva:
Nightmares: Scooby has a recurring nightmare of walking out infront of a eighteen wheeler even after he looks both ways. One of our friends has nightmares of being murdered and of murdering others.
Possible Side effects of unknown origin (maybe combivir)
Hemorrhoidal Bloodclots: These clots form in the hemorroidal tissue around the asshole. Dr. says that they normally dissolve. I had to have one sliced and squeezed out. Don't apply ice or a cold compress this makes it much worse and even more painful. Medicated powder like Gold Bond works great, the dollar store brand is just as good. I've had a couple of other ones start, but with the powder they seem to dissolve and go away on their own. Scooby and I have both had these within the last year and the only thing we're both on is Combivir.
Anyway that's it in a nutshell. Its very disturbing that there are guys out there that want to get infected and I just want to say: HIV meds are not like the Flintstones chewable vitamins that your mother used to give ya.
Sometimes I think that the meds will possibly kill me before the disease does, considering that (as far as I know) there is no knowledge of the long term effects of these drugs.
Anyway, I'm alive and I feel alright and am still able to work a full time manual labor job, so it's all good so far.
When I first became poz back in 1996 my doctors put me on AZT and 3TC (which soon was combined together to become Combivir) and Crixivan. I don't know if they use Crixivan anymore but the shit was like rat poison. We were on Crixivan for several years and the side effects never went away while on this drug.
Side Effects of Crixivan:
Chronic vomiting :(Mine wasn't chronic but Scooby threw up every morning on and off from the time he got up till about noon.)
Chronic diarrhea: (Same as the vomiting on and off all morning till about noon. It was so bad that Scooby and I started referring to our asshole as our "Water holes" since that's all that came out. We tried all kinds of drugs to help this, but all everything seemed to do was change the water different colors
Rule #1 for chronic diarrhea don't leave home until your sure that your done blowing out.
Rule #2 If you have chronic diarrhea don't ever fart in public. "Oops I crapped my pants"
Excessive drying of skin: ( I don't know if it was this or the diarrhea but my self lubing juicy asshole dryed out and getting fucked turned into a nightmare. Using lube didn't work because it fiercely burned. I joked during this time that if I'd of been on meds before I became poz , I'd of never been infected. I've been off of Crixivan for several years now and my hole is finally just starting to get back to normal. Yea!
Forget consuming Alcohol: I used to throw up before I even got a buzz. One good thing is it saved me from being/continuing to be an alcoholic.
Powder burps: Crixivan I guess doesn't dissolve well or at all, cuz I would occasionally burp and a puff of powder would waft out of my mouth. "Honestly I don't eat baby powder or cocaine for that matter"
and last but not least:
Crixivan Slivers: after time these slivers get stuck in your kidneys and they pass like kidney stones. After the third time our Dr. took us off of Crixivan.
I was then put on Viracept and Scooby was put on Zerit and Sustiva
Side effects of Viracept:
Headaches: I had a headache for the first couple of months of being on this. I don't know if they went away or if I just got use to them. I've suffered from migrain headaches since I was 5 so a regular headache is not a big deal.
Diarrhea: not as bad as Crixivan, we do occasionally have a solid turd and thats cause for celebration. "Yea! Solid Turd Day"
Joint and Muscle problems: Maybe I'm just getting older (37) but sometimes I feel like I'm 85. When I'm tired it seems to be worse (I start to hobble a little and definitely hold on to the hand rails while using stairs).
Hunger: When I need to eat I need to eat NOW or else my stomach gets really fucking angry and if I wait to long then I can't eat and sometimes dry heave. I now eat small meals every 3 hrs and that seems to work. Even if its just a bowl of cereal or a sandwich.
Memory loss: Sometimes I'm good, sometimes I'm Aunt Clara from Bewitched. "Oh goodness where am I"
Note: Scooby doesn't have problems with Viracept or Zerit
Side effect of Sustiva:
Nightmares: Scooby has a recurring nightmare of walking out infront of a eighteen wheeler even after he looks both ways. One of our friends has nightmares of being murdered and of murdering others.
Possible Side effects of unknown origin (maybe combivir)
Hemorrhoidal Bloodclots: These clots form in the hemorroidal tissue around the asshole. Dr. says that they normally dissolve. I had to have one sliced and squeezed out. Don't apply ice or a cold compress this makes it much worse and even more painful. Medicated powder like Gold Bond works great, the dollar store brand is just as good. I've had a couple of other ones start, but with the powder they seem to dissolve and go away on their own. Scooby and I have both had these within the last year and the only thing we're both on is Combivir.
Anyway that's it in a nutshell. Its very disturbing that there are guys out there that want to get infected and I just want to say: HIV meds are not like the Flintstones chewable vitamins that your mother used to give ya.
Sometimes I think that the meds will possibly kill me before the disease does, considering that (as far as I know) there is no knowledge of the long term effects of these drugs.
Anyway, I'm alive and I feel alright and am still able to work a full time manual labor job, so it's all good so far.
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