After playing phone tag all week, my second cousin called me today. He wanted to see if I was going to come to their family reunion. This would be my grandfathers brothers family on my mom's side. I started researching all our family genealogies (history's) several years ago and ended up putting together booklets that date our family from about the mid 1800's to current. Now the word has spread through out the other families and everyone wants to see what I've come up with so far. The call went really well considering I'm horrible when it comes to talking to people I don't know (in person and/or on the telephone). But then again I have alot of family info. so its not that I can't find anything to say.

I'm kind of freaked out about going, call it being shy or social anxiety, I just seem to clam up in social events. It's the main reason I was drunk during my 20's, alcohol seemed to help loosen me up. It shouldn't be to bad since, like I said, I do have alot of info. to talk about and plus my father is going to go with me and he at least knows some of these people. I wish my mom was still alive, she was a very fun, social and out going kind of gal. She would have been very helpful in this predicament. Man, I miss her, it's hard to believe she's been gone 8 yrs..

I think my social problems stem from my days at Flowing Wells Jr. High School out in Tucson, AZ. I don't know how it is now, but back in the late 70's early 80's it was all fight, fight, fight. The teachers really needed to patrol the campus, but they didn't. When I was in 7th or 8th grade, my friend Dawn was pointing out her older brother during lunch in the cafeteria and this short 9th grade Hispanic guy thought I was looking/talking about him. Well he came over and started yelling and bitch slapping me for it. I tried to explain, but it fell on deaf ears, and he continued to harass me for the rest of the year. I probably could have fought him and won cuz I was bigger than him, but fighting him would have opened up a whole nother can of worms with his "Chollo" friends. To this day I still have problems making eye contact with straight people.

But anyway, its starting to rain and I really hope that its going to be clear tomorrow cuz I really need to go to this reunion, for my sake more than anyone else's. I plan on taking a Xanax before hand to help put me at ease.

That's it I'm outta here, have a good weekend.