Friday, December 16, 2005

Good news and the Peppermint spray from Hell

First of all got some good news this week. We're going to be able to stay at our timeshare down in New Orleans. Not our 1 bedroom unit but the main floor effeciency, which is fine by us. Everyone thinks were crazy for going down there, but we don't care, it will feel good to help out their economy by spending money. Plus we'd rather spend the Holidays in a moldy city than up to our ass's in this fucking snow.

My God, we got so much fucking snow yesterday. I shoveled and snow blowed twice and by the time I got done I was too fucking tired to go to work. I got a letter from RCI (the timeshare trading co.) and their giving us a bonus week because of all the trouble with the hurricanes and all. So I think we're going to try and use it in NYC this coming year and stay at The Manhattan Club if they have an opening....sounds fancy.

One thing you all don't know about me is that I'm a garbage picker. I prefer recycler but what ever. It's now illegal at work to garbage pick but before it was I found a small bottle of peppermint spray for the bath. The directions on it read, "Spray into the steam of your shower". Well at the time I found it I sprayed it and WOW! was the shit potent. One little wiff and my sinus's opened up like they never have before. Well I took it home and Scooby and I used it as directed. What it didn't say was don't get it on your skin cuz it burns like a muther fucker.

I got it on me and it immediately disovled the soap bubbles on my arm. For hours after my arm felt all warm and tingely. We learned quickly that one spray was all you needed and preferably spray it over the shower curtain so it just got into the steam in the bathroom not in the shower.

What we failed to do was warn guest's.....

Our friend "K" hangs out with us and often crashes on our couch. Well he took a shower one morning and I was in the kitchen making coffee ect. and I started to smell the peppermint spray, but by that time it was too late. I figured, well he's not screaming so I guess he's ok. After his shower he came out and said WOW what the Hell is up with that spray. I apoligized then for not warning completely slipped my mind. He then admitted that he sprayed it like 5 times in a row and then cowered in the bottom of the shower until it was gone. OUCH! He said that he learned a lesson and will never again use other people's bath products.

Today I took a shower and sprayed the stuff over the curtain like we have learned to do. Then after my shower I threw the towel that was on the floor over the tub and sat on it while I trimmed my nails. All of a sudden my ass was on fire. I thinking what the fuck, what the fuck, why is my ass on fire. Then it came to me that I sprayed the peppermint spray over the shower curtain and it directly fell onto the towel which I then sat on. I'll be God dammed... I tried to wash it off with a wet wash cloth...nadda. I then danced around the kitchen not knowing what to do as my ass tingled and burned. Scooby then recommened that I try some baby powder, cuz it's absorbent. Thank god it worked cuz it felt like it was burning me a new asshole....


AJ said...

I am so happy you are getting to go! That's great news for you. BTW, your Scooby is smart, I never would've thought of that.

Will said...

Hey, a second ass hole--a boy could really use that in so many ways!

Good news on the time share--have a great time when you go.