Having my head examined

Haven't posted anything this week cuz I'm just feeling blah. Last night I finally thought of something to post that was witty and funny but by the time I finished, Blogger went down for maintenance and everything was lost. And I can't remember it verbatem so maybe next week.

Went to the Dr. today for my quarterly visit.

CD4...750
viral load...undetectable

Which is basically no change, which is good. My Cholesteral is down also which is good, I don't remember what the actual points were. Then we started talking about side effects. Come to find out that even though I had a headache for the entire first month when I started Viracept the ones I'm getting now are not related. Granted I've had migrains since I was 4 yrs old, but recently they can last from 30 seconds to over a week. I also mentioned how my short term memory is getting bad. Example: At work if I'm asked to do something, I have to do it right that minute or write it down or else I will forget. Also finally mentioned the fantom smells of dog shit that I've been having. I totally forgot to mention the occasional ringing in the ears and seeing spots, something my mom had also.

Considering my mother, aunt and grandfather all died of brain tumors, guess what I'm having tomorrow. If you guessed CT scan your correct. Tomorrow at 10:30am I'm going in to literally have my head examined. I don't know what to think. I'm kind of scared of the out come. The question thats plagued me will finally be anwsered. The Mayo clinic my mom was diagnosed at said hers probably had been around for years and just started growing. I'd rather discover it early then too late like the others on my mothers side.

I gotta look though all my boxes of stuff and see where I put my PMA (positive mental attitude). I've got to prepare my self for better or worse cuz I was not prepared when I found out 10 yrs ago that I was HIV. La La La I went in to get my yearly HIV test results and WHAM. I was sooo not expecting testing POZ and I don't want to be surprised like that again. So I'm trying to feel indifferent to it and considering my memory is fucked, it shouldn't be a problem....

Sorry for the bummer, but thats what's new with me this week. I really am doing ok with this so... Don't cry for me Ike and Tina.