Thursday, April 27, 2006

It's the Itchy and Scratchy Show

I don't know what I did yesterday but 90% of my body is covered in a rash of little tiny red dots. Thank god its not on my face. Scooby and I were trying to figure it out and we've narrowed it down to possibly the fish that I ate yesterday or I possibly got in contact with something out in the yard while I was weeding and spreading mulch. Who knows.... I ran to Walgreens and picked up some Benadryl, but it doesn't seem to have kicked in yet.

In other news... I've been battling fucking crabs for a month now. Those fuckers are about to drive me crazy. It's not like I'm infested or anything but considering my OCD I might as well be. It started a month after we got back from NOLA. I discovered three of the little fuckers in my armpit. No place else just my god dammed armpit. I had just tricked with someone a couple of days before. Basically it was just a blow job but we were naked and I rested my arm on his hairy leg. Scooby's about hairless and hadn't been with anyone since NOLA, checked himself and had nothing.

So then I go through the routine of washing all the beding, towels, clothes and doing the RID thing. Searched and destoyed the eggs. Then followed up with RID a week later and thought I got rid of the little fuckers. Then a week or two ago I found more fucking eggs around my navel. FUCK!!! Went through the whole routine again, except this time I opened up a large trash bag stood inside of it, pulled out the clippers and clipped myself from my neck to mid thigh to make sure I got rid of all the eggs. Then tied up the bag of hair and through it away. This time I only found one of the little buggers.

Yesterday I found one more and one egg. FUCK!!!! I've done 4 loads of laundry today and the RID thing again. This better be it, cuz I've fucking had it. I've checked and checked and even picked at one of my moles until it bled. I now understand why porn guys shave their bodies. Furry guys and multiple sex partners are just a recipe for disaster.

So I'm clipped down and covered in a rash. What the fuck is next....mange

1 comment:

Thom said...

What a pain, literally. Once a few years ago I had a hell of a time getting rid of them. What finally worked was washing all the bedding, clothing, etc., then using that RID every day for a couple of weeks. That did the trick, whereas the once or twice that the packaging mentions definitely wasn't enough.