Sitting here bored as hell still, hoping that I can get back to work next week. It will depend on the xrays they take Tuesday, I hope my foot has healed.

I've been hobbling around here doing laundry and trying to keep the house clean. Scooby has made me a few meals but then I'm left to clean up the mess or else it would still be sitting there. Yesterday I had to hobble out and clean the snow off the sidewalk because he had a tooth pulled and wasn't up to it.

Needless to say I'm disgustipated....

update

Well Jan. 12 I slipped on the steps at work and ended up breaking a bone spur off of my heel. So I'm laid up and out of work until Feb 10. God I hope they let me go back to work. Sitting around and doing practically nothing fucking sucks. Still waiting to hear if workmans comp is going to cover it or not. Apparently since I've been to a foot Dr. it was considered preexisting condition, it wasn't so it created alot of red tape. so now I wait. I've also discovered that with out me picking up/cleaning ect. that we could easier fall into the "Hoarders" catagory within a month or twos time.

Also haven't been sleeping well. 6 hours was good for me before 2am-8am, but now I've been waking up at 6 or 7am and can't get back to sleep. I guess I fear that Scooby might kick my foot in his sleep or one of the cats might jump on it and the last thing I want is to fuck it up any more than it already is.

So thats it in a nutshell, I'm laid up and bored as hell...

Love

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
We cannot live, except thus mutually We alternate, aware or unaware, The reflex act of life: and when we bear Our virtue onward most impulsively, Most full of invocation, and to be Most instantly compellant, certes, there We live most life, whoever breathes most air And counts his dying years by sun and sea. But when a soul, by choice and conscience, doth Throw out her full force on another soul, The conscience and the concentration both make mere life, Love. For Life in perfect whole And aim consummated, is Love in sooth, As nature's magnet-heat rounds pole with pole. (I especially like the last line, hehe)

The Definition of Love

by Andrew Marvell
My Love is of a birth as rare As 'tis for object strange and high: It was begotten by Despair Upon Impossibility. Magnanimous Despair alone Could show me so divine a thing, Where feeble Hope could ne'er have flown But vainly flapped its Tinsel wing. And yet I quickly might arrive Where my extended soul is fixt, But Fate does iron wedges drive, And always crowds itself betwixt. For Fate with jealous eye does see Two perfect Loves; nor lets them close: Their union would her ruin be, And her tyrannic power depose. And therefore her decrees of steel Us as the distant Poles have placed, (Though Love's whole World on us doth wheel) Not by themselves to be embraced. Unless the giddy Heaven fall, And Earth some new convulsion tear; And, us to join, the World should all Be cramped into a planisphere. As lines so Loves oblique may well Themselves in every angle greet: But ours so truly parallel, Though infinite can never meet. Therefore the Love which us doth bind, But Fate so enviously debars, Is the conjunction of the Mind, And opposition of the Stars.

The biggest laugh of 2009

A few months ago I got out of work on a Friday night and headed to my friend Thurston's house. Scooby was already there along with a few others including our friend "D''. D has become kind of a mess lately with his drinking and this night was no different. As soon as I got there D wanted me to try on his fathers accordian. Back story, D never got along with his father and was never allowed to even touch his dads accordian, so he was overwhelmed with emotion when he inherited it.

I was tired and didn't want to put the accordian on or try to play it, but D in his wasted state kept insisting, so I put it on. Then he told me to pull on it, I tried lightly and it didn't budge. "Are you sure its not locked?" I asked. D slurrily replied, "no its not locked, pull harder". I tried and it still didn't budge. "Are you sure?" I asked again. "Yes pull harder" he slurred, "your not pulling hard enough". So I did and the dam thing popped into two pieces, so here I stand with 1/2 of the accordian in one hand and the other 1/2 in the other. We both stood there, our mouths hanging open, shocked at what just happened.

Scooby being mr. fixit took the accordian from me and sat down at the kitchen table to try and put it back together. At the table was a pizza box with a couple of pieces left on top, "D" scooped up the box and started folding it into 4th's, I mentioned to him that there was still pizza on the box and he slurred to me that nobodies going to want it now. Just then Thurston swooped into the room and snatched the pizza box from D and passed it over Scoobies head and threw it away.

Then I noticed that in the process Thurston had dropped some pizza sauce on the accordian as Scooby was finishing putting it back together. So we wiped up the pizza sauce off of it and Scooby stood up and started to play it. He got a couple of in and out strokes out of the accordian before it popped open again and some thing hit the floor. We all looked down and here sat a piece of pizza on the floor. Apparently when Thurston passed the pizza box over Scooby a piece fell out and right into the accordian with out anyone noticing. So here we all sit, mouths agape at the pizza now laying on the floor as we come to the realization of what just happened.


Everytime we think of this night we laugh our fuckin asses off....

Beware of Knights Inn, the worst hotel chain...

FYI if your ever traveling through Terra Haute, IN and need to stop for the night absolutely under no circumstances stay at the Knights Inn. Once a year we stop through here on our way back home from New Orleans but I usually get us a room at the Econolodge. This year I thought we could save some money and stop at the Knights Inn, I figured since they also have continental breakfast.

We got there and I got us a room for about $10 bucks cheaper then Econolodge. The room looked ok at first, the carpet needed vacuumed but we've stayed at a few dumps in our time and aren't that picky. It was extremely cold that night so we immediately turned on the heat and noticed that the low heat button was broken. We took off down the street to find some food and when we got back the room still wasn't warm. That is when we noticed that the light above the sink didn't work and the volume button was missing on the tv plus it didn't have a remote.

When stopping for the night during a road trip we usually sleep in separate beds so we can spread out. This time we decided to sleep together since it was so cold, so I went to take the blanket off the other bed and there wasn't one. It ended up with us huddled together fully clothed under one blanket and two bedspreads and we were still freezing. After a half hour enough was enough, we tried to call the office but the phone didn't work. So we packed up our shit and heading to the office for a refund only to find out they don't do refunds.

The night clerk are very apologetic and when we mentioned writing a letter to corporate, he encouraged us to do so. He ended up putting us in the room above the office. Again no remote for the tv and only one blanket plus I found tiny glass shards on the bedspread. The night clerk did find another remote and brought us another blanket. The room got a somewhat warmer then the last, probably because of the heated office below us. It still didn't get warm enough to turn it off of high, but we at least stayed warm under the covers.

The next morning the continental breakfast consisted of dry cereal with no milk, toast, coffee and a cheap box of chocolate covered donuts with only two left. Needless to say corporate will be hearing from us and we will never again stay at another Knights Inn.....

Ugh, I seriously considered ending this blog at the start of this year. I haven't been blogging much if you have noticed. Its hard blogging when you live in small suburbia. Fags are like little clucky hens gossiping about everything and everybody and blogging about personal aspects of my life just gives them fuel for the fire. I don't mind my friends reading, but gossipy accquaintences.... well, fucks with my head.

But anyway, after deleting the last couple of posts, I guess I'm going to hang out for a little while longer.

Scooby and I's trip to New Orleans over the Holiday was great, somewhat low key for NOLA but great just the same. We didn't drink as excessively as we have in the past, actually we've spent most of last year cutting back on our drinking. It was great to go on vacation and not have to worry and sometimes babysit a drunk bf. In fact I think I actually fell in love with him this Holiday season. I've always loved him, but this trip it got a bit stronger. Instead of being pissed off at him getting sloppy drunk, I enjoyed his slightly buzzed company.

Last night, we had a nice dinner and movie evening with the crush. A friend voiced his concern about it breaking Scooby and I up considering I'm kinda gaga over the crush, but I assured him that's not the case, especially since our NOLA trip. After all Scooby is the brains behind this operation, plus he's my soul mate, and with his health the way it is, well we are in it for the long haul. We're all just having fun, casual intimate relations. If it grows into more then great, but we are happy with how it is. I've always had issues with depression and low self esteem so having a guy in his early twenties interested in us has been a big boost. Something that I desperately needed.

Words to live by....

If you pass judgment on others,

it doesn't define them,

it defines yourself....

5 Golden rings (5 things I enjoy)

This meme is from Bigg,


1. My cats, especially Kiddo. If I leave for work with out him knowing, he runs through the house looking for me meowing. When I come home from work he sits on my chest and nuzzles my face. He loves to be carried around like a baby and most of the time if I wake up in the middle of the night he is snuggled by my side. I truly believe he would be devastated if something were to happen to me, he keeps me keeping on. His brother Clyde has his own distinct characteristics. He loves to be papoosed in the front of your shirt and carried around. He's very quiet but sometimes when he thinks he's alone he meow/sings. After I take a shower he will follow me into the bedroom and jump on the bed and I'll stand there and he will try to put his paws around me and nuzzle my chest with his face to rescent me, sometime he will lightly bite me also.


2. Home: Even though its alot of work I enjoy our home, it keeps me busy with laundry and making meals, baking cookies and treats and gardening in the yard in the summer. It keeps me grounded.


3. New Orleans, I enjoy the atmosphere, architecture, music, people who are drunker then myself, and its old world charm. It does have its crime element but I've said it several times, that I'd rather be murdered in the streets of New Orleans tomorrow then live the rest of my life in Michigan.


4. Friends: even though they can sometimes be a pain in the ass I love em. Getting together and doing simple things like helping decorate a christmas tree, getting drunk at the St. Pats parade, or just sitting around on a Sunday during the summer and bbq'ing and having a few cocktails.


5. I enjoy my partner Scooby even though things are tough with him not working he has many great qualities. He's fluent in electrical, plumbing and carpentry and is an asset to have around. Plus he's my best friend.

Update on the other house

Well the second roomate fell through. Don't know what happened, he's a friend of ours and was suppose to move in around Nov. 1 and we never heard from him and still haven't. Being the difficult person he is he probably lost his job, but who knows.

The one guy that does live there wanted to move in one of his friends but unfort. the guy is handicapped and the house is not excessable, plus bedrooms are on the second floor. So I have offered to sell the house to him and he is interested. We are just waiting to see if he can get financing. If this pans out we are thinking about flipping another HUD home down the street. This should be enough to pay off our house and possibly build a garage too. Wish us luck..

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

We are spending Thanksgiving at my sisters and "the crush" might even tag along. :)

Drama, Drama, Drama

If I hadn't mentioned, my friend and I have made up a few weeks ago after a month hiatus. Anyway he called and left a message Sunday morning, I was still in bed but could tell by his voice that something was not right. I got up a few minutes later, made coffee and called him back and he procedes to tell me about the disturbing phone call he received the night before.

back story: after my friend broke up with his bf, said ex rented a room at the other house I bought early this year. Ex is friends with another gay man named Vince and Vince is in a relationship with mentally unstable Gerald. Well Gerald thinks something is going on between Ex and Vince and called my friend Saturday night to tell him if I don't kick Ex out of the house that him and his nephew are going to burn down my rental house, and that they already cased the place out. nice....

So I took a little trip over to the local police dept. and reported the threat. Unfort. they can't really do anything until he acts on it, but the report has been made incase anything happens. I've heard stories about how Gerald beats Vince (who's in a wheelchair) and in his last tirade this weekend distroyed Vince's walker. Its all very fucked up and I don't understand why Vince doesn't file assault charges against him and get his ass thrown in jail.

Luckily I'm very well insured.

The crush

It was Mardi Gras weekend at the campground, my other half was shit faced drunk, falling off the picnic table before the parade even started. I finally got him in the tent to sleep it off and went to join the festivities. I sampled several of the cocktails and snacks and ended up at the foam party on the dance floor. I used to love to dance but when your bf of 13 yrs doesn't dance, well it kind of falls to the wayside. That night I dance my ass off, shirtless and slick with foam. I was laughing and having the best time, when it happened, this young handsome twink grabbed my nipple and tweaked it, a little to hard since they are very hypersensitive, then winked at me and continued on. He stuck in my head.

Cut to last month

I found him on Manhunt and he lives in the area, early twenties, vers, top.... He actually hit me up and we exchanged a few emails. I told him right up front my status expecting him to disappear, never to hear from him again, like most of the online guys do. I was wrong, he was cool with it. We had lunch, he told me that he had recently heard from the health dept that someone he had been with tested poz and he was waiting for his results. We went back to his place and had HOT protected safe sex. He's got a smokin hot tight little body and well... he's bigger then me. A few days later his results came back and it wasn't good. He's handling it extremely well, and we've gotten together a second time. This time I discovered how versatile he really is.

So anyway that is what his going on in my life. I have a crush and I really don't know what to do about it. Probably nothing, people come and go and if and when this ends I will be crushed that's why its called a crush. I'm having fun, he is giving me a well deserved boost to my ego and self esteem considering he's twenty yrs younger then me.

Luckily Scooby has cut back on his drinking drastically or else this would be a no brainer. We are still bickering about his lack of employment. I told him he either needs to apply for disability or go back to work full time. He wined that filling out the application for SSD would be so stressful and I told him, "Like the stress I've been dealing with for 12yrs wondering if we are going to financially make it on my paycheck alone, join the club." That shut him up and will hopefully get him to apply. otherwise I'm going to have to tell him that he has 3 choices, A. apply for SSD, B. go back to work, or C. move into the other house. I would never leave him high and dry, I do love him but not enough to financially support him for another 12 or more yrs.. I've got to start taking care of myself and find my own happiness.

Lets end on a lighter note: This guy was born in another state but him and his mom ended up in the town I'm from and I'm dying to ask how they ended up there. If he says his mom is from there I'm gonna shit, since we are about the same age I might know her. Yikes!!

More to come....

Halloween plans

We are going to The Rocky Horror Picture Show at 7pm then off to the bar for cocktails and the Halloween costume contest. I've never seen RHPS at the theatre so I'm a virgin, hahahahahahah Haven't been able to say that in like forever....

Anyway going as one of the guests/extras, black jacket/pants, bright colored shirt and sunglasses and of course party hat and noise maker. Will have my vampire contacts in so all I'll have to do is pour some fake blood around my mouth and throw in the fangs and I'll be a vampire at the bar.

I don't know where to start

Well we ended up renting rooms at the other house. 2 rented, 1 to go. One of my very good friends has been acting very crazy lately and ended his short term relationship with his new boyfriend. The guy is very nice and when crazy kicked him out on his birthday no less, he asked if he could rent a room at the other house. I, flat ass broke and needing money, said sure. Well when I informed my good friend that his new ex was going to rent from me he ended our 20 yr. friendship. I was stunned, but what can I do. Said good friend has been a major pill lately so the break is a well deserved one. I'm thinking that its his new hiv meds thats making him so crazy, but that is just a speculation.

A month ago we were doing our weekend thing, hitting the flea market and he told me, "When I break up with ______ you can be as mean as you want to too him." This left me speechless, first I was appalled, then hurt. I can't believe that he thinks that I'm that shallow that I will be mean to another human being just because he tells me I can. The only real reason I can figure that he broke up with him is because they were not sexually compatible. The guy didn't cheat, or lie, or disappear for days on end. I just don't get it...

So far he has been the perfect tenant. Turns down the heat when he leaves for work, is neat and tiddy, pays the rent. The other guy is our old roomate from a few years ago. He should be moving in by next week. 300 each per month should pay the utilities on the house this winter with a little extra to set aside for taxes and insurance on the place. God if I can get the last room rented we should be golden.

Still here

Still working on the other house, and getting pretty tired of it. Not sure what we are doing with it once its done. Wanted to do vacation rental but was told that it was highly unlikely that we would make that fly since we are not in a resort/ big city area. Which is true and I'm sure winter would be completely dead. Unfort. I'm out of money and we need to do something fast to get some income coming in before winter. All we are getting is negative input and I'm tire of hearing that shit.....

If anyone local reads this, we are not having a halloween party, because we don't have the time/money or energy ect..

Hopefully I'll be back soon with some better news. Hoping to get house done by end of Oct. (fingers crossed). Wish us luck.....

Whats going on

We went camping last weekend for Campit's Mardi Gras theme weekend. It started torrential raining Friday night and didn't stop until 1pm on Saturday. Needless to say everything was a muddy mess. Scooby got trashed both Friday and Saturday and I ended up baby sitting him until he totally passed out. Saturday night when he came too we had it out and I made him choose alcohol or me. So we are on the wagon now. He at least we will save some money and get a lot more shit done around here.

We have decided to try to turn the other house into a vacation rental/ B&B. I really don't want to be a landlord but would love to be an innkeeper. So that's the plan. We are located right in the heart of town, walking distance to most events on the river and one of the historic areas that has lots of restaurants and bars. Also downtown has lots of little shops and one of the largest antique malls in the state. Since the house needs a little work here and there we are pricing it cheap at $50 a night with 2 night min. or $3oo for the week.

So anyway, wish us luck...

I spent this weekend cleaning the basement of the other house and ripping out some really crappy made shelves to make way for the new drain lines we are putting in. Dam pvc is expensive, spent over 500 bucks for all the new drain lines, but I guess it would be alot more if I had to pay someone else to install so we actually did save money.

We discovered today the the display screen on our camera is broken. It must of happened during our 4th of July party. I'm totally bummed, but like I've said before, I wasn't meant to have anything nice.

On an up note we are heading to Saugatuck camping this weekend. Its Campit's Mardi Gras theme weekend which is usually a blast. We are going to be there Thursday-Sunday. 30% chance of rain, wish us luck....

buzzcocks orgasm addict

Mika - Relax, Take It Easy (Official Music Video)

Relax its the weekend!