Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The return of Murphy

Our friend Murphy stopped by this weekend after a couple of years of being AWOL. He had moved down south that is until his last two crack head boyfriends sold everything he had to buy drugs, including his two dogs. We've just started referring to him as Murphy because of Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong it will. He's got to be the most bad luck person I've ever met. To the point that I feel uncomfortable around him cuz I'm afraid some of it will rub off.

I was getting ready to go to work today when the doorbell rings. It's Murphy, the car he just bought for 100. from his cousin ran out of gas a couple of blocks from our house. So I give him the rest of a can of gas that I had used for our lawn mower. He leaves and 5 minutes later he's back, now the battery is dead. So he calls a couple of people for help and I go look for some jumper cables. He has no luck, but I do find cables and we head down the road to his car.

We try to jump his car and no luck. So I tell him that I gotta get going soon and ask if he wants help getting his car out of the street. He says yes, so I tell him that there is a parking lot around the corner that we can push it to and that it should coast down there since the road declines a bit. So I pull my car into another parking lot close by and run out to help him. First he hits the curb going around the corner then the car starts picking up speed. He's just running along side of it and I yell at him to jump in. He does but just sits in a fetal position and doesn't steer or brake. His open car door hits a car coming from the opposite direction. He them steers abit to get back in his lane, but still doesn't brake as the car continues to pick up speed. He then misses the drive to the parking lot hitting another curb. Then he cranks the steering wheel and the car then goes into the entrance to the parking lot but hits the other curb and then runs into a post. Finally stopping the car. I ask him if he's ok, he says yes. Then I tell him I gotta leave for work or I'll be late.

Good God! and I thought I wasn't very smart.... I'm honestly surprised that he didn't fall while trying to jump into the car and run over himself.


Glenn said...

Some people shouldn't be allowed to drive. With guys like him, have HIM push the car and you handle it. I bet he didn't understand that without the engine running, the brakes and steering aren't power assisted.

Homer said...

I hear that most cars have this thing called a brake. Maybe Murphy things his car will "break" if he uses it.